you tell me you'll miss me
but i know you'll just be craving
whats between my legs,
you call me your girl
but i know i can only be yours
after everyone is already asleep,
and you hold my face as if
captivated by my eyes
but you're far better at
holding your tongue
because you know you will never
have truths that i want to hear.

i just need you to be here so i can collapse on your bed with you and you can make me talk about whats happening in my head even though i don't want to, even though i don't have the words to make it all make sense
you just trick me into figuring it out with your eyes and your questions and your frustrations with me,
and i need that bed with us curled together with all of our anger and jealousy and laughter and love smashing into each other falling in love with our hatred and sweetness and ***
i just need your arms and that bed and the stillness you bring me, the smile you coax from my devastating destruction, i need your blistering beauty to warm my cold aching soul

why am i
so
ungodly
awkward

it seems
i've always loved
tragic things
and hated
happy endings

she's got
no emotion
but there's so
much
pain