you intoxicate my mind
making me wish i could remember
every painfully passionate word

I miss sunday nights in my bed
laying there so angry with me
so unwilling to explain your jealousy
because you're so unwilling to admit
everything i can hear on the edge of your tongue
and see in the bitings of your lips.

so ******* unwilling to admit
that i make you laugh
like you never thought i would
think about things
that you never have before
talk about life like
its something so new and incredible.

i miss the things we've never done before
with an aching in me that i'll never tell
because i'll pretend to be heartless until
you can finally admit that
you miss those sunday nights in my bed
just like i do.

i like you
because
you let me
not be in love
with you

You are **** hits
that leave me breathless
spinning in colors
while we lay in your bed,
you are a slap to my face
with stinging red remnants
flashing across my cheek,
you are a borrowed 
orange
toothbrush leaving
 icy breath
on my tongue,
you are walks around
 this
****** neighborhood pointing
 out
the secret beauty in me.
you are hips wiggling
to blasting music
on early mornings,
and kisses
giggling across my
cheeks, nose, lips.

You are the library
with your thin rimmed glasses
and stupid latin flashcards,
you are scraped knees
and fresh tears because
you would never help me
walk down the stairs,
you are ****** ***
drunkenly challenging me
to go shot for shot
at 3 in the morning.
you are shaking fingers

angry, jealous, afraid.

You are soft snores and

bitten lips, thrown phones
and ugly screamed names.
a shattered window, an unopened
jar of peanut butter.
you are brand new
gray sheets, bodies drenched
in laughter and sweat,
an old flannel shirt,
a broken chair.
you are the things you're
afraid to tell me, the things
I see in your eyes.
you are honest in
the lies that you tell me and sweet
with your terribly harsh words.
you are a mess, a
completely 
confusing, competitive
game.



And oh,
how I love
to
play.

i don't hold hands.
there's been too many
before you who have
let mine go to
dangle empty,
alone

but last night
you grabbed my hand
and wouldn't let go
and i didn't stop you,
just bit my lip
to stifle a
smile.