standing still
watching
catastrophy come your way
powerless
destined for destruction

chaos
it engulfs you
the only word
the only thing

solitude
it has defined you
from the start
the only reality
you’ve ever known

disaster
undeniable
a nightmare
that became reality

no strings attached
you are free
yet alone
disconnected
from the very beginning

an unavoidable obstacle
omnipresent
in your world

fatigue
but an inability to close your eyes

unfailing premonition
but the desire
to be stationary

sleep
an inaccessible luxury
one i'll never
be previleged
to have

standing still
feet glued to a floor that’s falling through
destined for destruction

your eyes glass over
you turn your head away
you don’t see me

you release me
from your gentle grasp

a cinderblock
 falls on my chest
 crushes me
i can’t breathe

all hope is lost
but
right before 
i flat line
my lungs fill with air
my heart begins to beat
you rescue me

for a second
i’m weightless
i’m safe

time passes
seconds are short
and you remember
our little
 emotionless game

the cinderblock
comes flying at my head

how did i 
ever 
feel safe

he loves me
he loves me not
it’s like picking petals off a dead rose
leaving everything to chance
throwing a dice 
and hoping it lands on the side you desire

you wrap me in your arms
yet i still feel 
miles away from you

love
anger
sadness
envelope my mind
sending my thoughts into a whirlwind
of crazy emotion

drowning
in the tears
that escape through the cracks
of the glassy walls
that you constantly break down

i’m naked
you see through me
no secrets
nothing just for my mind to know

my body
my eyes
 scream every thought
i desperately
 want to keep inside

i tell myself
be strong
protect yourself
with the glassy eyed distance
with which he drives you insane

failure must be my strong suit
‘cause having strength
when i’m with you-- 

impossible