I swear to you Human beings are the worst kind of drug.  There is no substance that can make you feel as high as the affection another person may share.  And, there is no hangover as headache inducing as the subsequent fall from their grace. From disappointment to excitement you may only understand the full spectrum of experience when it is shared.  Yes, there are many states of solitude which are necessary and unique but we have never existed singularly and never will.

All these poets so sad desperate and alone
All these poets so full and over flowing
All these poets so discontented
All these poets expressing
All these poets bathing in woe
Are you not tired?
Are you not tired?
Are you not tired?
Are your hills just slippery slopes?
Does it rain here all year?
Where did your sun go?
Are you just grey skies?

I live in the shadow of a giant.
How am I not a goat?
I live in the shadow of my Father.
How am I not a goat?
I live in the shadow of my Mother.
How am I not a goat?

"When a man approaches you he must be consistent with his philosophy or else he'll be impugned by the high courts of his character."

But what if his philosphy is to be? Will they hold him?

"To be?"

Yes, to be.  To exist freely at the calling of his whims.

"Show me a man breathing that is free I will show you delusion at best or at worst deception."

To live in such a time where to err is a folly, how can this be?  How are we to exist if we do not have opportune to fail?  Risk-

"Is merely masked fear. We must learn to embrace the nature of all forms."

Maybe she decides she's better off alone
Perpendicular to you, not parralel
Maybe she decides she doesn't need a man
Because Lord knows she doesn't need
But a partner does make us feel at ease
Unless they don't of course
I will do my best
To respect
My self, patience, & crime
Slippery slops in a vortex of tropes
This corn I'm chewing on feels odd
The nights bring solitude
The distilled ambience isolates a disparate exhale
As annoying as I find you
I miss you
There is an imbalance here

Consider the intellectual ramifications!
Consider the inviduous suggestions!
You cavil over the idea but I have nothing to add.

This flowed from north to south from my mouth to yours from the shrub to the tree from the atmosphere to the continent from the beginning of time until.
Which narrative do you reckon is true?
How long ago did we become?
Was there one, many, or none that put us here?
Where did they come from?
Who put them in motion?
If we get lost in arguments about information that holds no bearing to our daily action have we both missed the point?
I am still limited by laws
descriptions of naturally occurring phenomena.
Like this planet has ozones
Like this body needs oxygen
Like this body is restricted by gravity
Like this body breathes out life
food for the green to function
Like I don't care.  
Like I do care.
Indifference isnt always negative.  It can be a powerful tool of acceptance.  To say exist as you wish I will still care about you.
Our thoughts metigate our direction even if  it is mere inactive contemplation.
Wake up.
Get dressed.
Have a glass of water.
Remove the toxins.
Get into the car.
Insert the car keys.
Twist. Shift. Push.
Propel via combustion to work.
I no longer engage in these reflections.
I just do.
They've become a well groved trail in my mind.
I have frequented these so much I love them.
I grow tire and still.
I've become a slave to them.

Help me!
There is a robber.
He stole my soul.
Placed it in a rubber body.
So flexible and greasy.
So free speeding.

Help me!
There is a doctor.
He stole my eyes.
Taught me how to be a fool.
An inversion to nature,
sense I able too
assume the role.

Help me!
There's a cop.
He trained my legs to run,
my lungs to vacuum
exhausting organic resources
my heart to pump
this red tinged ocean
spreading vast across the globe

Help me!
There's a women
She taught me how to listen
to the planet as it spins
and the birds as the chirp
You are never alone here.

We are like neutered mutts,
drowsily as we sate on.
100 years of 24 frames per second
left too many of us wondering about the future
while reflecting on a past
never engaged in the present
always being.

The radio is concerned,
a voice drones on
flies over our head
and broadcasts into the living room.

This energy is a wave, follow the sin
Your body already knows how to covert the pressure
into electricity for your receptors.

Later, we stand at the altar
of boys with guitars
of boys with mics
The aux cable beheads his neck
we pardoned a sea of excuses
The F/A-18 drops the mic.

Women salivate the crowd.
That other gentile touch.
Throw a burka on that *****
Magazine dictate should we be?
Clip up pandora,
the liquid streams on.

There was never a box.
You were just born with fingers and toes
to touch ears to hear eyes to see a brain
to think to receive a nose
to breath a mouth to kiss and say,

"There is disappointment everywhere but still I love."

We ate red beets with garlic roasted in olive oil and anise.
We ate onions sauteed in olive oil, mustard, and honey.
We ate green leaves with grapes, tomatoes, onions, and feta cheese.
We drank wine.
We drank water.
We talked social justice.
We talked poverty.
We talked blackness.
We talked education.
We talked about the years, that of which was left behind.
Trials I used to roam out west before I came back to the nest.

He said, "But, that is behind you?
I am still under the illusion doors don't close.
So plainly without a doubt they do.
"The debt will go away, do what makes you happy."

Why resist?

This is the necessary transition.

She says, "Meet me at Saffron but you pay for dinner."
I only go dutch these days until I know the investment isn't a loss.

Deep down south, way past the imaginary boundaries of nation-state they've existed before 1492.  Today they still run for days to see their neighbor.  This gives a whole new definition to friendly.  Imagine Mr. Rogers striding for 48 hours.

I can't.  

My neighbor's son was tied to a chair and set on fire.  
A year later patrol officers were parked outside the house,
standing behind their black and whites, gripping their glocks
as he hollered from the living room he was going to blow his head off
with a shotgun because his girlfriend was evicting him.
He once told me that he used to be a cop and would sleep on duty,
right before passing me a blunt and offering me some fried fish.
His daughter was drinking and then her crying got loud.
She was trying to pace with the rhythm of the blues,
Nina's voice carried the weight.  The sway of the *****
made me talk.  My drawl seeking to comfort the tension in the air.
White boy can't make black girl proud.
Best put it to rest for another day.
When she whispered in my ear she had a kid and her boyfriend didn't show I knew I was too far gone.  The night became a blur.  The next morning my face was buried deep between her thighs.  My back arching again, a quick culmination.  There were sirens everywhere.  She cooked me stew and walked me home.

Leave the man alone and let him eat.
It 4AM and all the bars are closed
but this diner never does.
It holds retreat to those scuffles you receive
from the daily grind
from the solutions in bottles that solve no qualms.
"No, I don't mind.  This man has iron.  You know iron?
Most walking around are plastic."
He picks up the water cup and shakes it.
"Plastic,"
I raise my eyebrows, bend my lips,  and nod very well.
Very well, just don't call me plastic.

My brain splatters as I try to make sense of this.  It doesnt last long and shuts down.   The dwindling thumb
A snoring girl
One annunciating talk show host
Advertisments for genuine authentic Italian cuisine
News stories that have no endings
Perpetual cycles of hell
She is snoring after a long day of being sick
The pain stretches to my wrist
"You feed your mind
You feed your body
You feed your soul
The balance beings peace
The balance brings joy
The balance brings growth."
My imaginary Grandmother whispers to me.
Cued laughter from the audience
These shows are like used car sales
There's a poet I know who has to piddle that **** to the public.
I don't think she minds too much but I hope it doesn't **** her writing.
The dead speak to us louder when the order of our day is in disarray.
People at work are depressed, the moral of the story lost and we're drifting.
Then the shock and the horror
This time of the year is already ******* everyone trying to fulfill imaginary expectations of what other people want.  This is modern expressions of love.
The wish to provide a material manifestation of warmth, desire, and embrace.
Maybe a hug will do.
And the actions of consistency and peace.
An old friend

Started lifting weights again
Started writing without meaning
Regurgitating days in the cyber escape
For if you work really hard you will succeed
Parallel by memories of Santiago
Montana New Mexico and the places I havent been to yet
These days
Languid blurs frolicking through hallways
Opening closing doors
Half assing entrances
My addictive traits extinguished years ago
I remember one jovial night when in a stupor she said
You should learn to channel your anger to accomplish great things
But it was never something I wanted to live with

Drip drop
Plitter plop
Theres something about the way white men write poems which irks me
And I would know because I am a white male though not quite a man
I cant tell
If I dislike the ones who deny everything about their existence in favor of a radical blackness
You know the type clamoring to every single pro black stance they can
I could never be this way because a black man taught me to say it loud and proud I'm black and I'm proud.
I knew exaclty what he meant.
B.R.I.C.K baby get with the program
And another said you've got to cherish every single moment when you're young cause one day you'll wake up and you'll have a gut
My father is a proud man who sacrificed too much for my good life, he taught me judgment and action like the Jewish G-d from the Torah with pointed discipline
Or the type where very single line
Woe becometh I
**** have you not had a metacognitized experience yet?
You do not exist alone
Hell there is a tree nearby
That is very much alive
Two friends I lost because of my arrogrance and my desire for security
I guess that makes me a little bit more like the devil
Red skinned and fire eyed

Trust could trust her
if I do not know
how it begins
In the beginning
It begins
With a thought
Temporal displacement
Displayed existence
Electric highways
Self. Automations.
Neon soul for an old world order
White whips and black paper for the new
Climbing into the buggie
Dont forgot to kick the mud off your shoe
Shoe shoe shoe
Away with the coddle
****** morphing
Crocodile waddles
Two too many
mutating scenarios
There is no free water
Costs to talk
A fee to stare
Quantified by freaks
lazily writing the word for millennia
Auspices of control
The third eye begets the third eye

And
if she cheats
it would be ok
tomorrow awakens
drinking coffee
cloudy
with grey skies
near freezing temperatures
wet grass
brown
decomposing
leaves all because it
is Fall
seasons change
as we rotate
seasons
due to change
until the comet returns
Planet X & dinosaurs

As a man you must learn to exist with others while being singular, to walk with contradiction, to be direct without being rude, to talk firmly without being loud - this list goes on and on.  The recognition that ones education never ends.  This life is a balancing act.  One test is to take in suffering while maintaining laughter.  Another is to be able to command without demeaning.

My dear
Modernity
I do not believe in what the Devil hath seen
but how do I not believe in what the Devil seen?
Creation? Destruction?
Fear? Hate?  
What hath we sought that we not deserve?
Crucifixations caught through gopros
Electrical diction, photons in slow mo
Billy clubs used to break bones
Bullets know how to stop the beating heart
Blood punctures provide insights on poverty analytics
Flood lectures absistence from the soul
Stress dominants king dr$$SS$Falalalzzzs
S

I would of have kids with you if only you profess belief and welcome Him into you.  
I accept you but you could be better.
For He will always be above you.

I dont want to be better.
I dont want to welcome omnipotence.
It will not change my daily action.

You are in good company here but I will pray for you tonight. I fear for your soul if  you do not accept his salvation you will descend.

If I get to the Pearly Gates,
I'll hop my way in.
And I fear nonexistence
But I accept endings.

I will request of you to do this one thing ask him to show you the way.

How do people who dont share the same beliefs raise children?
I dont know.

We finished the chinese lunch buffet.
We shook hands, they asked if they would see me later.
Around.
I drove her home.
She seemed excited about what occurred, a smile on her have when she investigated my thoughts.
Then disappointed when I negated it.
She left my car and I sat their for some time.
It is always odd when a person is no longer with you.
The air is heavier, light seems dimmer.

Later the answer came to me.
Love & work.
Lots of work.

We're not really poets
We're liars pretending to capture moments
We're trapping butterflies in nets,
fireflies in mason jars capped with lids, fish in styrofoam coolers layered between cool ice melting .
Its eyes are bulging as it's gasping, inhaling toxicity that we call air.
The will to power beckoning through its form, flopping around the ice cubes exchanging energy,
creating heat
Lukewarm drops slip down creating a puddle not large enough to survive
I reach out across to my brother for a high five.
Our palms slap and I laugh as the light from the sun shimmers across the water.

These two fold expressions arent meant
from poverty where masks are worn at a young age
Old white men
Gentiles
We live in odd times
Where we need to be protected from extremist radicals and that includes those whose job it is to protect us
The state which when alienated from the populace is an enemy
And how can I learn to trust my brother when he may be the one that puts me down?
Complexities are disavowed,
Scorned by nature as being argumentative
And still I have something to say
This way we're going wont end in laughter or *******
It becomes a monster of reciprocity
Spewing disinterest, hatred -
Hey man!
Whatever sells!
The printing presses dont stop
The digital era beacon pulses
We must understand
That when we only consume
We will never have the time to contemplate
Our societies, and by that mean our economies, must be restructured to include and value periods of boredom, breaks for laughing, and vacations for intimate ****** exchanges like kissing,
clittoral licking,
******* bucking.
Our happiness will increase
Our weight will drop
And we will find that we do have meaning on this rock

To the man who nearly beat the **** out of me
Thank you
I was awash in melancholia
Trying to pacify it with reason
I was alone with my headphones on when I walked in front of your car when you had a green light to go and I kept on.  You honked and yelled something mostly indistinguishable over the music and I didn't given a **** so I gave you a bird.  I heard you yell again and I gave you another bird.  I kept strolling on as you pulled out on the adjacent street and yelled something else.  Another bird.  
I sense your anger, I don't know if you're coming from me but it exists.
I walk.  You drive.  I walk. You slow down and turn left into a parking lot in front of me.  I debate leaving quickly but decide to venture on, there is a grocery store with a cop.  I'll enter there in case he decides to pursue.  I try entering and am rejected. By an employee because the store is closing.  I turn around and there you are in front of me making a funny face.  You get close but don't touch me.  You're yelling at me that I could've killed you because you walked on a green light.  You're close but you haven't touched me.  I yell back that I had headphones on and only heard you honking and yelling.  You're still yelling how you can't just give people the finger.  I suppose yelling at people and confronting them on a street is okay.  We're attracting people and the cop comes outside. I am afraid.  But now I am afraid for him because he's the angry one yelling and storming around like an idiot and he's black but I am white and so is the cop and I can tell the cop thinks he's the threat because he is and if we kept arguing he would've probably hit me so I tell him he's not wrong even though he's not right.  He's not paying attention now.  He's just running his mouth.  Saying absurd threats like giving a person the finger will get you shot.  The cop tells me to come inside to let him calm down and I do and he leaves.  And I am inside the grocery store telling the cop a lie about what happened and he wants to know where I am going and I tell him.  He tells me to head out the back and enjoy my books.  I leave exasperated, shaken, and depressed.  I go to my car and go to a bar and feel increasingly disconnected from humanity.  You are right I shouldn't have walked and I shouldn't have given you the finger hut you are wrong for yelling and confronting me.  You are right you had a green light but this is a sidewalk and pedestrian has right of way.   and you are wrong no ******* is worth violence be it punches or bullets.  You're an idiot who wants to take it to the next level.  I am idiot who wants to be left alone.  You aren't civil.

slow roll from static
too much motion, swirling
rays of photon, impasse
Golden grills pledging
allegiance to no frill
in the thrill of contagion
the air's residue reminds
You hustle or you die