Started lifting weights again
Started writing without meaning
Regurgitating days in the cyber escape
For if you work really hard you will succeed
Parallel by memories of Santiago
Montana New Mexico and the places I havent been to yet
These days
Languid blurs frolicking through hallways
Opening closing doors
Half assing entrances
My addictive traits extinguished years ago
I remember one jovial night when in a stupor she said
You should learn to channel your anger to accomplish great things
But it was never something I wanted to live with

These two fold expressions arent meant
from poverty where masks are worn at a young age
Old white men
Gentiles
We live in odd times
Where we need to be protected from extremist radicals and that includes those whose job it is to protect us
The state which when alienated from the populace is an enemy
And how can I learn to trust my brother when he may be the one that puts me down?
Complexities are disavowed,
Scorned by nature as being argumentative
And still I have something to say
This way we're going wont end in laughter or *******
It becomes a monster of reciprocity
Spewing disinterest, hatred -
Hey man!
Whatever sells!
The printing presses dont stop
The digital era beacon pulses
We must understand
That when we only consume
We will never have the time to contemplate
Our societies, and by that mean our economies, must be restructured to include and value periods of boredom, breaks for laughing, and vacations for intimate ****** exchanges like kissing,
clittoral licking,
******* bucking.
Our happiness will increase
Our weight will drop
And we will find that we do have meaning on this rock

My brain splatters as I try to make sense of this.  It doesnt last long and shuts down.   The dwindling thumb
A snoring girl
One annunciating talk show host
Advertisments for genuine authentic Italian cuisine
News stories that have no endings
Perpetual cycles of hell
She is snoring after a long day of being sick
The pain stretches to my wrist
"You feed your mind
You feed your body
You feed your soul
The balance beings peace
The balance brings joy
The balance brings growth."
My imaginary Grandmother whispers to me.
Cued laughter from the audience
These shows are like used car sales
There's a poet I know who has to piddle that **** to the public.
I don't think she minds too much but I hope it doesn't **** her writing.
The dead speak to us louder when the order of our day is in disarray.
People at work are depressed, the moral of the story lost and we're drifting.
Then the shock and the horror
This time of the year is already ******* everyone trying to fulfill imaginary expectations of what other people want.  This is modern expressions of love.
The wish to provide a material manifestation of warmth, desire, and embrace.
Maybe a hug will do.
And the actions of consistency and peace.
An old friend

We're not really poets
We're liars pretending to capture moments
We're trapping butterflies in nets,
fireflies in mason jars capped with lids, fish in styrofoam coolers layered between cool ice melting .
Its eyes are bulging as it's gasping, inhaling toxicity that we call air.
The will to power beckoning through its form, flopping around the ice cubes exchanging energy,
creating heat
Lukewarm drops slip down creating a puddle not large enough to survive
I reach out across to my brother for a high five.
Our palms slap and I laugh as the light from the sun shimmers across the water.

I would of have kids with you if only you profess belief and welcome Him into you.  
I accept you but you could be better.
For He will always be above you.

I dont want to be better.
I dont want to welcome omnipotence.
It will not change my daily action.

You are in good company here but I will pray for you tonight. I fear for your soul if  you do not accept his salvation you will descend.

If I get to the Pearly Gates,
I'll hop my way in.
And I fear nonexistence
But I accept endings.

I will request of you to do this one thing ask him to show you the way.

How do people who dont share the same beliefs raise children?
I dont know.

We finished the chinese lunch buffet.
We shook hands, they asked if they would see me later.
Around.
I drove her home.
She seemed excited about what occurred, a smile on her have when she investigated my thoughts.
Then disappointed when I negated it.
She left my car and I sat their for some time.
It is always odd when a person is no longer with you.
The air is heavier, light seems dimmer.

Later the answer came to me.
Love & work.
Lots of work.

To the man who nearly beat the **** out of me
Thank you
I was awash in melancholia
Trying to pacify it with reason
I was alone with my headphones on when I walked in front of your car when you had a green light to go and I kept on.  You honked and yelled something mostly indistinguishable over the music and I didn't given a **** so I gave you a bird.  I heard you yell again and I gave you another bird.  I kept strolling on as you pulled out on the adjacent street and yelled something else.  Another bird.  
I sense your anger, I don't know if you're coming from me but it exists.
I walk.  You drive.  I walk. You slow down and turn left into a parking lot in front of me.  I debate leaving quickly but decide to venture on, there is a grocery store with a cop.  I'll enter there in case he decides to pursue.  I try entering and am rejected. By an employee because the store is closing.  I turn around and there you are in front of me making a funny face.  You get close but don't touch me.  You're yelling at me that I could've killed you because you walked on a green light.  You're close but you haven't touched me.  I yell back that I had headphones on and only heard you honking and yelling.  You're still yelling how you can't just give people the finger.  I suppose yelling at people and confronting them on a street is okay.  We're attracting people and the cop comes outside. I am afraid.  But now I am afraid for him because he's the angry one yelling and storming around like an idiot and he's black but I am white and so is the cop and I can tell the cop thinks he's the threat because he is and if we kept arguing he would've probably hit me so I tell him he's not wrong even though he's not right.  He's not paying attention now.  He's just running his mouth.  Saying absurd threats like giving a person the finger will get you shot.  The cop tells me to come inside to let him calm down and I do and he leaves.  And I am inside the grocery store telling the cop a lie about what happened and he wants to know where I am going and I tell him.  He tells me to head out the back and enjoy my books.  I leave exasperated, shaken, and depressed.  I go to my car and go to a bar and feel increasingly disconnected from humanity.  You are right I shouldn't have walked and I shouldn't have given you the finger hut you are wrong for yelling and confronting me.  You are right you had a green light but this is a sidewalk and pedestrian has right of way.   and you are wrong no ******* is worth violence be it punches or bullets.  You're an idiot who wants to take it to the next level.  I am idiot who wants to be left alone.  You aren't civil.

Leave the man alone and let him eat.
It 4AM and all the bars are closed
but this diner never does.
It holds retreat to those scuffles you receive
from the daily grind
from the solutions in bottles that solve no qualms.
"No, I don't mind.  This man has iron.  You know iron?
Most walking around are plastic."
He picks up the water cup and shakes it.
"Plastic,"
I raise my eyebrows, bend my lips,  and nod very well.
Very well, just don't call me plastic.