Starring up in the sky as the sun set sets into darkness.
You ever wonder to yourself, why is life sometimes lifeless.
Regrets of the past, on experiences you can’t change.
Yet those mere memories in your head cease to fade.

Until you come across someone in your life you can’t live without.
That person who makes you better, loves you for you, and makes you shout.
Trials and progressions, but not every relationship is built to last.
Those insecurities maybe trust issues from the past.

To my lady of love, please do not hurt me.
I only wish to give you pleasure, love and security.
I may be young, scared, but I’m ready.
To open my mind, my body, my heart yet take it steady.
Don’t rush, no need to.
My only wish is to please you…
With time and patience and (maybe R. Kelly playing in the basement)
But that’s another story for later.

What I mean to say is baby is you’re my kryptonite.
My nature’s nectar, so sweet and so ripe.
I need you; I want you to continue to be in my life.
For I am your man and this time is right.

Remember that first day of school, where I was so distant?
Transparent to what you see, because I was hidden in between
of that **** and that Preppy boy that seen to be more important than me.
You know, life is crazy because we as teens try so hard to fit in and want to be seen.
Out drinking, partying every weekend just so we can fill this image that society says it’s okay to be.
But, when do we sit down and think?
No I mean actually think, about what we’re doing and how it affect the people around us and who we aspire to be.

You claim you want to be a doctor
Maybe?
A Lawyer
Possibly?
But what you’re doing isn’t helping your case.
  
I’m that kid you once knew
(Strike one)

***, drugs, and alcohol are what’s cool right?
Everything that looks like gold doesn’t shine.
You take a sip of that liquor, that wine, you dine
And later on that night you ******.
A month later you figure out you knocked her up.
Now you stuck, on how to pay for this new born baby
That you’re not prepared to take care of.

But hey that’s life, and now it’s time to grow up.
The question is how to you teach a Boy to become a Man in nine months.
See, the answer is you can’t.
The purpose of *** is to share it with someone you love, and you care for and you both
Aren’t scared of the consequences.
And now…

He’s that kid you once knew
(Strike 2)

Jealously and hate, you deceive and you debate,
Whether to begin, to stop, or end this chaos.
You toss, and turn all night for this fright you have deep inside your soul.
In which you already feel has already turned to coal.
So black and so grey, who say or to judge you or your character.

In your past, you done so many wicked things, based on your so called “friends”
People that were only around because your name been tossed around from here to there.
They swear they have your best judgment, but when that judge gave you that verdict,
They were nowhere to be seen.
Real friends stick by you until that gloss doesn’t gleam.
And now…

You’re that kid they once knew
(Strike 3)

We as children, based upon your household were told, that the man upstairs is always watching.
You’re every move, so smooth and so cunning it’s stunning to think that there is someone out there in the sky, watching down judging your actions that you do. The sins that you commit, wishing you can omit and repent for you never know when your last day is to appear. You swear you’ll do better, next time I promise my dear. My dear lord, the one all mighty, the one that gives me strength and keeps me tidy. Please bless me, with the ability to succeed and achieve any obstacle you put in front of me.
For I am only human

Now that we grow up, you judge who’s to show up to in your time of need.  Sometimes we lose faith; we get discouraged for who knows the last time you prayed. Yet, there’s always that little voice in your head giving you judgment on what’s right and what’s wrong. So when feeling lonely, think back when you were a child, and you hear those songs, those remedies for you remember how good it felt to be a child of God.  Always have the belief; always have the faith that the Lord will always have that place in your heart.

See I am not perfect, sometimes I feel as if I’m not worth it to be given this life for I did so much wrong in the past.

My mother once told me to never look back to your past and be sad for what happened. Better yet, to be happy it happened and you are a stronger man. It was God’s plan put you through obstacles, you mastered them and now anything is possible. “Just keep having faith”

The man upstairs: The Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit may you be with us in our time of need. So we may succeed and make you proud of us, for we are rooted from Adam and Eve. Picking fruit from the forbidden tree. Because of that were not perfect, but were worth it to be loved and cared. For you are the oh so merciful, The Man Upstairs.

Looking in the mirror I say I’m ugly,
I say I’m fat, I say I’m disgusting.
Who would want to be with you?
(**** not me)
Or is the aspect of who I am in which differs on who
I want to be.
I just want to be accepted, for I am and not my body
Why can’t you see I am who I am, and you’re not me?
I been through this so many times, why can’t you see.
That I’m not skinny, I’m not petite.
I have an appetite, I like to eat
Now is that a crime, is that a sin?
I’m confused, where do I begin?

It all started when I 10 years old, I was told by my step-dad
To “shut my fat *** up”
A rebuttal in on my part was righteous
But, not yet…
At this age I couldn’t process everything
This scared me till this day, for in my dad’s eyes I’m still over weight.

I started to change, my waist got smaller.
My ego got taller, and more people started talking to me.
In process, I forgot who I was.
That strong person in the beginning
That in my eyes was winning, now losing
Who I really am.

I’m free, free to do anything and never give a **** on how
Anyone felt.
My heart melts till this day when I think back to my past.
That person who was bullied, talked about, stabbed in the back.
Now as I as move forward, I will always look back for comfort
On how far I came.
Remember I’m free, to venture out to places that have never been seen
And will not have to debate about my weight, because I’m happy to be ME.

By the way she walks, the way she talks
It has you mesmerized, in a way you can’t even imagine.
Her grace, as she touches every inch of that floor
has every man in there wanting more, and more, and more.
So seductive, her reasoning can’t be comprehended
Yet, compensated for her work.
Look at her strut, left to right
Back and forth, for your eyes are glued because she is astounding.
Hypnotizing, to say the least.
You wish to describe her but, she fails to compete.
For she is your dream girl, your fantasy… and even more.

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.
You ponder, on where’s he’s at, who he’s with, and what’s he’s doing?
He could be ******* you over, and now he’s the player you’re the game.
The lying game, something so easy and so cunning.
Running from this story to that, just so you can save your ***
Because you want to have you’re cake and eat it too.

“Dear Joan, I’m sending you this letter because I’m not the man you thought I was.
I’m the heartless snake that only cares for my own feelings. I wish there was a better
way to tell you but this will have to do. Remember last year, you know Jessica the secretary
that I introduced you to? Yeah, days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to months. There’s no
better way to say this but, it’s over. Me and you, were finished, finito’, done. Don’t call me, don’t
text me, because it will be a waste of your time. Now I didn’t commit a crime, but adultery.  
A sin, something I’m not proud of but, I’ll carry to my grave because I fell in love with another woman
You may hate me now, but I hope you understand later, that I didn’t want to be the father of your son
or your daughter.”

Sincerely, you’re *******.

As I look across the street all I see is beauty.
I see your flawless skin as the rays jumping off from the sun,
You’re so radiant.
I don’t mean to stare but, sometimes I can’t help it.
I fell in love with the girl next door just two months ago.
She came up to me on move in day as nervous as I was.
She said her name was Darlene, so darling and as precious as she was.
Months later I noticed, I wasn’t the only one who admired her presence.
My gift from God, my angel sent from heaven is now his.
Two months pass, like a 100 meter dash all I could do is think.
I look across the street now all I see is heartache
I see your flawless skin now touching his
Regretful as I was, I knew it was time to move on.
Her sweet voice, her angelic presence is something that I’ll always miss
To her now I’m just,
The Boy Next Door, even though I wanted to be more.
Reminisce