I've been drinking bleach lately to rid you of this body
drinking cocktails of clorox and ammonia to scorch you from my insides
you are like a stain that won't be scrubbed out
you left this canvas so ***** that there is no hope that it will ever be white and innocent ever again

I've constructed all these scenarios in my mind that make it my fault why you left
but each one ends in false contradictions
you did have a valid reason
i just didn't want to hear it because it broke my heart

and i asked you what you would do if i never spoke to you again
as we were laying in bed morphed together into one being
and you simply said
"i would move on"
those words made me retract into the being i had just hatched from
because i had contorted my mind into thinking this was something that neither of us would just be able to "move on" from

it turns out it was just me
and you are the one that stopped talking to me
now i have to figure out how to live your words
we both know my answer wouldn't have been so simple

as the hickies slowly faded so did the memory of you
as the red turned purple against my skin your smile began to float away

how perfect it was
teeth aligned just so
fighting with your lips to be seen

and don’t get me started on your lips
they tasted like home
they were two glowing embers
and when I pressed mine to them they ignited into the most glorious of flames

and don’t get me started on your eyes
burning holes in my soul with your stare
you looked through me like I was transparent and had nothing to hide

then there were your hands
a godly creation
making me feel electric and alive at the slightest touch

as the hickies slowly faded so did these memories of you
as purple turned back to flesh against my skin your smile began to float away

i never thought hands could be so beautiful
calloused and strong
glazing over my skin
you told me no girl has ever wanted to hold them
and i think when there are so many fragile things in the world
hands like that are a novelty
hold my heart in them
tame its beating
show it the value of being touched