If I was a romantic
I'd treat you to the first date
Much to your surprise (and dismay)

If I was a romantic
I'd buy you your favorite flowers
and spread them all over your bed

If I was a romantic
I'd make you lunch
and drive to your work for an impromptu date

If I was a romantic
I'd dance with you
in fuzzy pajamas and bare feet

If I was romantic
I'd let you be
every time you asked me

If I was a romantic
I'd take care of you
when you weren't your best self

If I was a romantic
I'd kiss you every time
like it was the last time

If I was a romantic
I wouldn't care about anything else about you
except your heart and soul

If I was a romantic
I would wear a trash bag as a wedding dress
if you were mine forever

Well

I am a romantic

So where are you?

I close my eyes and

F
                 E
                                   E
                                                           L

your fingers on my back
your hand in my hair
your lips on mine
your stare of wonder

I close my eyes and

H
                 E
                              A
                               ­              R

your soft breath
your murmurs of adoration
your exclamations of love


I close my eyes and

S
         E
                   E

your wide eyes
your dazzling smile

I close my eyes and

wonder

how I let you convince me you loved me

I close my eyes and


F
        O
                 R
                        G
                               E
                                       T


that you are there with her

and I'm here

standing outside your door

If I were to describe my love
It would be a raindrop
Clear and new
Beautiful if remained untouched

If it is disturbed
It will wash away

Until another comes to replace it

Over and over
Over and over
over and over
o v e r   a n d   o v e r

o
v
e
r

a
n
d

o
v
e
r

until a million raindrops appear and disappear
each trying to convince that
to be abused
to be worthless
to be nothing

is love

and for every raindrop

a river of tears carry it away

I am the shadow
Yet I am not dark

I am the sea
But I am neither rough nor calm

I am the sun
Yet I do not shine

I am a clock
But I cannot tell time

I am the pen
Yet I have no ink

I am the poet
But I cannot rhyme

I am the reader
Yet I am blind

I am nothing
Yet I am something

I am neither
Yet I am both

He likes the way her hand fits in his
He likes the way she nuzzles her head into his neck
He loves the way her nose crinkles when she laughs
He loves how her ears turn red when he kisses her
He adores the way she jumps for joy when she's happy
He adores how she whispers "I love you" like it's a secret
He hates when she cries because they argued
He hates when she's mad at him because he forgot to clean up
He misses her when she leaves for a trip
He misses her when he hears her static voice in the phone
He waits for her at the airport
He waits nervously, feeling the box protruding out of his pocket
He waits
He waits
He waits
He feels his phone buzz
He feels his fingers shake as he reads the notification
He sees the world turn black
He sees the future
Without her

Pretty faces
Pretty eyes
Staring back into my soul
How do I wear this disguise
While trying to be who I am

Going through the water
Trying to find the way out
So scared of drowning
Of this makeup washing away

Now I'm going under
Can't see in the dark
What have you done to me
With your words and smiles

Dragging me down, drowning me under
Digging into my skin

Will I ever breathe again
Will I be myself again
Will this fake life lie dead beneath my feet

Rising through the water
I can see the way out
Hands grasp my ankles
Pulling me under

Drowning me, dragging me down
Ripping away my skin
Pretty faces, feral smiles
Pretty eyes, red as blood

I guess I wasn't the one in disguise

After all.