I want to scream
in the middle of the street
masks stomped under my feet

I want to feel free
not trapped under a roof
that takes pleasure in my dark feelings

I want to touch and hug and
kiss and love and go back
to what it all once was

But every time I feel like breaking
every time my legs start shaking to

RUN
RUN AND BE FREE

I remember her smile and her kind eyes
her wrinkled hands gently stroking my hand

she doesn't know who I am
but she knows I'm family
and that is enough

That is enough

In our youth
When we scraped our knees and elbows
Raw and red
We would run to our mothers
Frightened of the first taste of the attribute
That would haunt us like a shadow admist
Our grown up lives

Into the medicine cabinet she would reach
Placing soothing kisses over
our barely present wounds
Placing soft sticky Band-Aids on our scraped up limbs

It was a quick fix
Comfort and safety wrapped up into one
Paper packaged medicinal amenity
And each Band-Aid would make us yearn for more

An addiction it became so quickly
We became oversensitive to pain
One sharp tag and we went fumbling for the box
A peeling piece of skin
and the world was topsy turvy
Until it was covered and forgotten

When we finally felt
Real and jarring pain
The wrappers surrounded us
A mountain of useless snow
And all the Band-Aids would unstick
From the amount of blood seeping out of
Dagger cuts and bullet holes

And we go back to our youth
And remember when life was sweet like an August peach
And pain was something talked of movies and ghost stories
And we cry our salty tears
Begging to go back when a band aid could fix everything

And we wonder
When that power left
And this despair finally set in

The band aids unstick
And fall to the ground
Like we once did
In our youth
When we scraped our knees and elbows

Raw and red

softly
softly
the air weeps

softly
softly
the ground mourns

softly
softly
the stars cry aloud

softly
softly
the sea wails

softly
softly
they have flown into the night

softly
softly
they have found a new home

softly
softly
those dreams have vanished

softly
softly
my heart falls asunder

softly
softly
I am pitied

softly
softly
this heartache comes

softly
softly

I am undone

Mommy said there was no such thing
as the Monster

When I was scared
she tucked me in
and kissed my cheek
and told me
"it's all just a nightmare"

But some days
I see the marks
the monster left her

Purple and Blue
Yellow and Black
the colors of the saddest rainbow

Sometimes at night, the monster gets her
and in the morning
she makes splashes
in her coffee

Mommy protects me
The monster never comes
to get me

But one day
Mommy was on the ground
and she didn't move

and the monster stood over her

a ****** knife in his hand
glinting like his silver
wedding band

I think I saw you
last night

Waiting at the edge of the crosswalk
talking on the phone

I blinked
and you were gone

A glitch in the universe
I suppose

But this morning
I saw you again

On the edge of my lawn
looking at my window

I threw it open
but you weren't there

I closed it
and turn around

I saw you there
in my room

your hand gently
touching my face

You smell
so distinct

A smile stretched
across your face

I missed you
you said

You've been doing well
you said

I breathed
and you were gone

Back to where ever it was
that souls go

I want to say
Heaven

But you left
so suddenly

you couldn't
let go

and I

still can't

let go

There's a special feeling only a few of us get to feel
In those hours when it's nighttime, but day

We feel like we're the only people in the world
Like the universe created it just for us

We're the rulers of a quiet and eerie world
so different from the harsh life of day

It's in those moments we find ourselves wandering
Waiting and wondering
Listening and imagining
something that's out of our grasp
or not yet in our lives

It's only for a brief moment we get to feel that
before sleep comes for us

and the last thing we think
before we drift off into the oasis of bliss

"what will today bring?"

There must be something in the water
that gives me those tingles
that makes my ears ring
when I hear you laugh

There must be something in the wine
that makes me float
and feel all giddy
when you tuck my hair behind my ear

There must be something in the flowers
that you gave me on Valentine's
that makes my eyes water
and my heart thump against my ribs

There must be something in the air
that makes it so hard to breathe
when I see you

There must be something in my eyes
that trick me into thinking
you're kissing someone else

There must be something in my brain
that made me so oblivious
to the things you were doing

There must be something in my heart
that makes it break into a million pieces

There must be something
that made me think
you loved me