Dearest moon, must you leave so soon?
to duck beneath the ground
and reappear in a distant land.
my mind is bound
as I discover I'm in so much deeper than I planned.
Another restless day leads to another sleepless night.
Let's go stare off into space
and lose our sense of time.
Never felt so out of place
than when I claimed the baggage that was mine.
It burns so bad, but baby I've never felt better
Trying to teach you what I've learned
that nothing we know is real.
Played with matches and ended up getting burned
but it just showed me how much I can't feel.
Casting shadows that haunt me at night,
you allow me to exaggerate,
let me mask the indecent.
Tell my mind to contemplate,
as I hide my true content.
**I am calm and waiting for the sun's approach.

You're all so wrong, so wrong about me.
It's failure time and time again;
     failure to grasp at anything
     at all.
Time's got us hanging by our
  throats the whole while.
  There's nothing more
      important than
these endless days of repetition.
Time and time again, yeah,
there's nothing more important.
So afraid of letting go
to fall
  and fall
     and fall
and die.
We race around to places
we don't want to be to get
with people we don't want to meet.
At the end of the day
we all just sigh and wait
for sleep to drag us to
vast spaces of nothing
and everything.
Writing suicide notes to
wake up to,
we need no better excuse
than boredom.

On occasion I remember that
I am nothing.
My life is nothing.
My thoughts are nothing.
The young are not invincible, we are
decaying from the inside out.
Out to where others can see--
see and dread the thought
of their own unavoidable fate.

I lay in the grass and smile.
Breathe as hard as I can,
     push it out     push it out.
It always remains.
I've grown accustomed.

I would lose myself if I could.
Drink after drink after drink.
Until my head spins and my
heart flutters.

If it would change anything,
If it would bring me closer
to you...
...maybe I would.

What a waste.
So many words softly whispered
     under the warmth of
     a summer night.
Giggling, and staring, and sweet kisses.
Promises you never meant to keep.
Some I never thought I'd make.
I would have given you my
life.  More than my life.  My soul.
In hindsight, maybe I
already did.
And now, my worst fears are to be faced.
Alone.  Like in a coffin, but worse.
(you know how claustrophobic I am.)
I wish I could make you
understand what you've done to me.
The monster I've become.
I know you're happy now, with her.
And that's all very well.
I don't even hold it against
you that you hate me.
That I embarrass you.
           annoy you.
Regardless of whose fault it is.
You never loved me,
     therefore you can't be held
     accountable.
I am not your responsibility,
     remember?
But do you also remember the
     times you said you'd never
     leave? You'd never love another?
I do.
I don't even get angry anymore.
Bitterness is all I can offer you.
So you were wrong about me after all.
But when I die,
     will you feel it in your bones?