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I know what you're like,
Sitting there at your desk,
Eyeing me up and down,
Making me feel like a pest.

It's not even your money,
Yet you act like it is,
Just give me the **** form,
I too can be a whizz.

You look so condescending,
Yet you're barely out of school,
Your cologne smells like a chemist,
You think you're so **** cool.

You know i've been approved,
But you dangle it like a fish,
You leer at my ******* so blatantly,
Yeah, dream on mate, you wish!.

Just hand the ****** cheque over,
Before i lose my rag,
Keep telling yourself you're important,
Then, go choke on a ***! IDIOT!!
(c) eileenmcgreevy@ymail.com.    This is actually a true story..
Call a                          doctor/ plumber/ priest
My heart is               broken/ leaking/ deceased

My life is                   worthless/ so much better/ over
I'm going to              **** myself/ tell your wife/ Dover

How could you         leave me/ not know/ lie?
I hope you                return my stuff/ come back/ die

I'll never                   forget you/ forgive you/ go away
I need                        closure/ a DNA test/ to tell you I'm gay

Your                           face/ crotch/ top of your back
Is                                so beautiful/ lumpy/ unusually slack

Your                           ex/ mother/ best friend from school
Always made me      great coffee/ feel inadequate/ drool

I will                           miss you/ **** you/ stalk you forever
That way we can      be friends/ get away with it/ be together

I'm sorry                   you did this/ I did this /we failed
I promise to               pay you/ dye it back/ get you bailed
Please don't               leave me/ show the Polaroids/ write or call


(*delete as appropriate, just delete it all.....)

— The End —