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 Feb 2013 Kayla Hollatz
T
We lie there
on that awkward ugly couch,
laughing so hard that I would roll off
if you didn't have your arm
wrapped around my waist;

not close enough

We press closer
and I trace the invisible hearts and swirls
that tattoo your arms,
while you search for my heart
between my shirt and skin;

not close enough

We press closer
breathing in tandem,
soft rise and fall
of our two chests,
now one;

not close enough

We press closer
and your breath dances in my hair,
while pieces of your story sneak into my ear
until I am every bit as full
of you as I am me;

not close enough
skin like
honey

breath
the same

subtly sweet
spiced with
the morning's cigarette

i recall it
more than i should
for my
own good

then
i am there again
toe to toe
skin to skin
******* it in

giving your Co2
a toxic ride
in my blood

watching your lips
exhale
to take
a big
smile
in spite of themselves
I got some books last weekend
some filled with flowers
some filled with words
some filled with poetry
all filled with heartache
As I flipped through the pages
my hands began to bleed
and I realized that it was not my own
but it was the blood of the people
who turned their heart and soul
into black ink on a piece of paper
-
 Feb 2013 Kayla Hollatz
Morgan
I don’t fall in love with people’s words.
I fall in love with their lack of words.
I fall in love with those moments of pure frustration
when you clench your jaw and lower your head.
I fall in love with those moments of absolute awe
when you bite your lip and widen your eyes.
I fall in love with confusion and the way
you release it into nonsense that I have to decode.
I fall in love with embarrassment & your rosy, red skin as you fumble to think.
I fall in love with fear; the way you stare at a blank screen on your phone,
occasionally running your thumbs over it like a security blanket;
they won’t ask you questions if you look busy.
I fall in love with the different ways you learned to tie your shoes.
I love just watching how some people do knots and some do bows
and I like to imagine their mothers kneeling beside them
& guiding their fingers through the lace.
I love the way your face goes pale when something pains you.
I love the way you get silent when you think too much
and how your best friend sits beside you, and tries not to make it obvious.
I love the way you smoke your cigarette like it’s the last you’ll ever have
& the way you choke back tears.
But, even more, I love the face you make when you finally let them out.
I love the apathy in your voice when you don’t feel like following the crowd
& the way you’re so passive with suggestions but never admit you don’t want to be here.
I love the way you cover your own eyes with the palm of your hand
during the scary scenes, even though you can just close them.
I love the way your head bobs forward when you’re trying to stay awake
& the way you curl it into your shoulder when you give up & succumb to sleep.
I love the way you sigh when you’re disappointed
and the way you try to hide that smile
when you hear good news for the first time in a long time.
I love the way you fall into the beat of a song you like
and the way you block your ears to that **** you hate.
I love the way you stuff your hands in your pockets when you’re cold
and clench your stomach when you’re hungry.
I love the way you describe love.
I love the way you think you’re in it.  
I love the way you walk when you’re in a hurry.
I love the way you yawn and the way you sneeze.
I love the way you laugh when nothings funny.
I love the way you hide your scars behind your sleeves.
I love the way you look away from me.
I don’t fall in love with what people show me.
I fall in love with what they are hiding.
I am swaying and rocking and coming undone
Longing for my beloved to come, to wrap me in lavender and throw me aside
Just to pick me back up again and listen as I’ve cried,
Reveling in the ache and the way my body shakes
In fear of losing that which is not mine, the pains in my heart erupting as tiny quakes  
And why me, my dear, why am I the one?  
Oh honey, oh sweetheart, what have you done?
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