We might as well be crying in the street
With all this blood on our knees
And you begged me for just one more
Secret to keep

We might as well be drowning in the ocean
With a heart severed out in the open
And you asked me for promises
Whispers unspoken

We might as well be angels in the sky
With the stars at our feet, twinkles in eyes
And you pushed me up to the moon
Kisses goodbye

We might as well be dogs in the dust
With the wind kicking us up in every gust
And you tripped me right into hell
The devil's sick lust

We are the mistakes of her past
With scars pierced straight through our backs
And she was the last beautiful soul
I ever had

Tonight is so stunning
That I can't bring myself to sleep
I simply cannot miss the
Complexities of the constellations
I cannot pass up the opportunity
To connect the swirling ***** of gas
Billions, trillions, zillions of miles away

And I feel that way everyone does
When they truly take the time
To stare up instead of down
I feel… minuscule.

Just a ******* Earth.
So small
A speck of dust in the tapestry of space and time
I embrace this moment
I hold it deep in my chest

Praying that prior to all 21 grams of me
Disappearing into the vast nothingness
That I remember this
This night, this exact second
I hope, wish, dream that this is what I'll hang on to.

This is what will get me through.
This is what will save my soul.
This. This night is everything I am.

But I know that isn't true.
I know that when I float up into…
Wherever…
That the only thing, the last thing
On my mind

Will be you.
And for that, I apologize
To the sky.

I see your picture
Pop up on my dash
Oh, I guess we're still friends
At least in Cyberspace
We are…

Anyway, I see your stupid
******* picture
Unkempt beard
Slimy trout in one hand
Beer in the other

And it makes me absolutely sick
Bile swirls around in my stomach
Like blood down the drain
Of those Hitchcock films we'd watch
'Til dawn
At the foot of your bed
Wrapped in a deep sea of sheets

You're wearing that necklace
I bought you in Maui
Little rocks strung together
Black and white
I was half way across the globe
And you were still the only thing
On my ****** up mind

I wonder if you think of me
Every ******* time you take it off
To shower
I wonder if those ****** you ****
Twist the stones around
And inquire their origin


And, most of all,
I wonder what you tell them.



I walk down your street
Because I still have the same friends
As you
And we all grew up together
In this black hole we've been taught to call
Our hometown
We rode the same bus,
Smoked the same pipes,
Blew the same lines,
I guess, in a way, we were family.

Anyway, I walk down your stupid
****** up street
And I saunter past your aluminum framed
*******
That you still bother to call
Your car

And the only thing that runs through my mind
Are all those nights we spent together
In your driveway
Talking about absolutely nothing
Meaningless *******
And at the time, it all seemed so ridiculously
Pointless
But now…

Those memories are what I cherish
More than anything.

Your car is rotting away
No brakes, no engine
The windows don't even shut
And it takes every ounce of willpower
I have left
Not to key the **** out of your Jetta
Inscribe it with your true title
*******

I wonder if you'd know it was me
I wonder what people would ask you


And, most of all,
I wonder what you'd tell them.




I gaze out my window
For the billionth time
Sighing at your silhouette
In my decaying yard

Roses in hand, you patiently wait
For the only girl you've ever broken
To come downstairs
You scream out my name
Throw rocks at my window
Like we're
Sixteen again

I don't recall
How many steps I raced down
I don't recall
If I bothered to lock the door behind me
I don't recall
Much of anything

*******
Is all I can say
*******
Is all I can think
*******
Runs through my blood
My brain
My heart
*******
*******
*******.

And before I know it
My fists are at your throat
My nails are at your skin
My knuckles are at your jaw
I thrash
Eyes shut
Nothing but eternal darkness
And violence

I'm screaming
I can't stop
You're on the ground
Thorns at your side
Tears in your ducts

*******

I kick your skeleton
Smothered in skin

******* for shooting up
******* for destroying me
*******

I study the needle
And the damage done
Your gushing blood
Starlit crimson

For the first time,
I see your wounds

I wonder how it feels
For you to be the victim
I wonder what your ******
Your sister
Your mother
Will say

And, most of all,
I wonder what you'll tell them.

I skipped home in the sunshine
A deep, dark cloud rested ahead
Taunting me,
Waiting for the opportune moment
Of course, in front of your house
The very house where we..

We used to watch bad horror flicks
Used to cuddle close on the couch
Used to bake cakes together
Used to sing the wrong lyrics
With the wrong chords
Used to get high
Used to **** everything up
Used to live
In

Yeah, that house
Your house.
That's when the sky unleashed
All of it's fury
Raindrops the size of bullets
Piercing through my skin

I had no shelter
No umbrella
No hood
No coat
No poncho
Just a girl and her nostalgia
Walking down Pine street
For the millionth time

So I did what I do best
I embraced it
Took off my shoes
Let the rain consume me
Stuck out my tongue
And drank the rivers
From heaven

And I swear I heard you laughing
Inside
All warm and dry
I guess you felt bad for me

But,
You shouldn't have
Not at all
Because I was the one
That had the strength
To walk alone
In the rain
In the first place
While you played it safe

The difference between
You and me
Is very simple dear
I embrace the world,
You fight it.

So keep on laughing
And I'll keep on dancing
And maybe one day
We'll find a way
To rid ourselves
Of each other.