My cheeks
                               Flush red
And my knees
                                   Go weak

A school-girl
                                           Crush
On the new kid

Except this
Isn't school,
This is                       work

And my                           mind
Goes places it shouldn't
And before I know it
I'm                                          imagining
Us in the back room
Lip rings                                        entangled

I shake away the             thought
When you walk past
I try to                                          play it
                                                             Cool
But the only thing
That comes out of
                                               My mouth
Are quiet                                           stutters

Cheeks growing      redder
Knees                              weaker

Oh­, the things          you
Do to                               me

Of course
That's when
                                               She
Goes through your line
And                                             greets
you with                                              
                                                             A kiss
Of course
                Of course


How could someone
                                 Like you
Be alone
                                 Like me...?

I bite my lip and
I can taste the
Iron
In my blood
It's nothing compared
To the
Flame on my
Tongue
Those words that
Combust in my
Lungs

Our memories
Dance in my
Skin
You crawl
Through me
Again
Devils in my
Thoughts
Morality running
Thin

A yawn leads
To a
Collapse
I fall into your
Arms
A twisted
Damsel in
Distress
Try to
Save me
It's not so
Easy

Oh, my gentleman over the sea
Miles upon miles away from me
I can't count my endless dreams
Patch up my mind, take in the seams
This distance is taking it's toll
Wear and tear on my decomposing soul

Oh, my gentleman over the sea
You've locked my heart and tossed the key

He draws a drag
Of his Newport
Staring up at me with
Those knives he calls eyes

My stomach twists and
I can taste the
***** in my throat
From the
Disease we call
Love

I study his appearance
Thinking of how beautiful
The folds in his baggy jeans
Really are

My opinion is biased
I'm sure it's hideous
But I've always found a way
To see the beauty in him
No matter how hard he
Tried to hide it

Love

I try to scratch the word
Out of my brain
But it's no use

How happy I would be
If I could just
Live alone
With a million cats
And slowly progress
Into madness


And when he
Leaves
Because his cigarette has
Dwindled down to
The filter

It rips me in half
And my heart bursts
Into flame
Then to ash

Only to be regenerated
When he walks
Back outside
And slices my veins
With his words
It's freezing out here,
You going inside?

I prepare for the worst
Take a few steps
A few deep breaths
And concentrate on the
Pulse from
My internal
Bleeding, broken
Phoenix

I'm angry

Seriously, ******

Because people rake up leaves
Like they can
Control nature

Because in the third grade you
Pushed me down
Instead of helping me up

Because I never forgot
The day you
Apologized to me
And you can't even remember
Last Tuesday

Because Sarah Lynn
Isn't even my
Real name

Because I had to feed
Myself at the age of
Five
And I was raised by
A *******
Television screen

Because I thought the
Drugs could somehow
Fix everything
For me
And they just made
It worse

Because everyone thinks
I'm a lesbian
Simply because I've never
Had a serious boyfriend
But how could I
Tell them
That I never loved
Another
After you...

Because I step on the cracks
Praying I break
Her back

Because all of those
Songs
That I can relate to
Weren't really
Sung about me

Because when you
Finally
Told me how you felt
I pretended
That I was just
Sleeping

Because everyone
Turns the other
Cheek
When they see me
Crumble

Because no one
Will ever read these
Words and
Understand completely
Where I'm coming from

Because I feel like
I think too fast
And I know too much
And I'm too overwhelmed
To ever truly experience
Happiness

Because I'm the only
Person in my life
That I can
Trust
With anything
Serious

I'm angry
Because...

Because when he smiles
At me
My heart melts
And there's nothing
I can do about it
Because he's
Dead