Waking up and being loved is my goal.
Meet a nice girl and take a little stroll.
Down a road remembered oh so well.
Look into her eyes and confess that I have fell.
Pop.
Dreams sadly stop.
Reality breaks in and starts to blur.
But I withhold the desire I prefer much more...

Naked bodies, empty souls
Bitten ****** lips, from the night before
Empty eyes, brain full of lies
***** sheets, dark, cold room

There she stands, fearless
Nothing can do her harm now
She has been there before
Didn’t find comfort or a safe place to stay, so she made her own

Smoking a cigar, trying to tell herself that this was her destiny, her fate
There she stands, restless
No sleep in her teary eyes
“I did this to myself”, says her broken voice  

Convincing herself
Night after night
Never giving up on what she thinks that is right
“But things didn’t go as you planed”, talks with her head
“I am stronger than that”, repeats after all these stupid thoughts
Reminding herself that she isn’t
Knowing that this is just an act
Just another of her many acts

There she stands, another sleepless night
A night that she doesn’t want to have
It’s that night when she confronts herself
She reminds herself what she really is
A walking phantom - she thinks
“But I am stronger than that”
These words she tries so hard to believe
But she never will

Sleep, please sleep! Yells to herself
But sleep will be late again this night, just like the other nights

Shaking, she thinks of the taste of the cheap wine she drank hours ago
Knowing the headache she will have tomorrow
But she is used to it
If only she could sleep this night
That is all she wants this night

There she stands, loveless
What have I done? She cries
Love let her down
I loved, I will love again - she lies

There she stands, awake in the middle of the night
She will stand up tomorrow
She will stand in her feet
She knows that this will be over

And as the sun raised, and the day begun
There she sleeps
Dreaming a useless dream
But still believing that she is not now, but she will be, stronger than this.

And in the other world, in one better dream, there he stands, sleeping comfortably
He became a better man
He will love and be loved again
And she?
She, tomorrow will throw herself to another man
Not loving, not being loved…

In a poem written with simple words, twisted meanings.
In a bottle green sweatshirt.
In yesterday's newspaper's folds.
In a skipped heartbeat.
Behind bars of visions. Of dreams.
In the shadows behind a door.
In an old note about love.
In a distant friend.
In a yawn.
A camouflage.
In a flawed reflection.
In a world, where,
I cannot be spotted.
where, I wave for a life jacket,
and, they say - I can get lost.

silence is as silence does
they tell me this is all because
we are free and you are not
to be the one
who is no... one at all
rounded by something skinny and seen through
a letter and a book and a fire
of burning
paper
and words thought out by ideas called paper and pen and man and why?
dissolve it all
it's all unreal and forever here
there is near
infinity

mother
lily of the valley
I weave it with you
I fill it with you
I carry you and I carry with you
I carry myself in you