365 days it's been
Since I first saw you
     at that record store around the corner
Oh how I can never
seem to forget that cute little grin

we had conversations
    about music and favorite ice cream
I swear you almost
dinned Lou Reed into my head
            didn't take long for me
to have to find my patience

But I didn't mind
        because you looked at
me like no other boy would

we went on dates to
        Ben & Jerry's and
afterwards we went along
      and met your mates.

You took me to all
your thinking spots where
      we shared all our
deep secrets
every dripple, every drop

We spent some nights
     hiding in the sheets
gazing into
each others eyes
     as you kissed me 'till
the morning sky

You told me you
loved me so
and never met someone with
the purest heart
      I never had a clue..

Awoke one beautiful
     morning to awful
news
you picked up the phone
               they told you I was dying
you held me and started crying

I told you
"bad things happen to good people"
your words went into
         circles as you told me
"I'm here and I'm never letting go"
     that's when I knew
I loved you so.

              365 days it's been
     since I first saw you
at the record store around
            the corner

Never have I
     stopped loving
you
  not once,
not
   ever.

what a mean girl I am
throwing around words I half understand
letting them bump and bruise strangers
not thinking it might hurt them later

what an awful person they must see
a person no one wants to be
making promises she can't keep
and disappointing in the end

A perfect example of what not to do
doing things not well thought through
crude and cruel down to the bone
yet wonders why she's left alone.

when he asks if you're in
love with him,
*lie

I burnt my tongue a week ago--
Too much of scalding coffee and lies [on your part],
But I swallowed it with a couple of anti-depressants
I have forgotten how creamy, toffee powdered mocha tastes like and your lips,
They used to taste like macchiato, as time passed by,
                                                                ­         Maple leaves drizzled autumn, burst into slashing icy winter,
Your lips started tasting like black coffee, like tar, most of the days it’s only a figure of speech,
Warning sign blinking all day long in my head, when I can’t hold it in my fingers,
When it’s escaping out of my grasp, ready to run, making space for the sugary vanilla layer
But then there are days, when you find your way back underneath my sheets,
My duvet, the only witness, sadly silent all too similar to my will power screaming inside my head,
And here are you fictious sentences, framed with such precise,
Knocking down all the walls I tried to built, leading to defeat,
                                                                ­                     Holding me chained like a slave.
All my fury fueled sentences burn like fire, vengeful riff of an electric guitar within my mind,
When your fingers encircle me, rough nibs of your lips on the nape of neck, palm tracing lies on my tailbone
All the fire drowns in crafted lies, ashes of my dignity scattered, a bleak watered down-
                                                           ­                    Note of a single string as the soundtrack of my misery.
I burnt my tongue last night--
Too much of your blazing skin and lies but I spitted it all out,
This brittle heart not so brittle anymore heated at 1,300*c, on the kiln again and again-
                                                          ­                                                   To form an everlasting nature.
Arteries have clotted, hatred burning bright within, lungs suffocating starving for oxygen and blood,
Like the dragon breathes fire, I’ll breathe out the scathing curses; and leave with my dignity intact
Barely responding to all your shameless deeds.