Sometimes I wonder about the girl in the back of the class with the Hogwarts shirt who knows everything.
Sometimes I wonder about the shy, new boy who is slightly bigger than the rest of our Psych class.
Sometimes I wonder about the varsity soccer player with a little sister who is a newcomer.  
Sometimes I wonder about how my math teacher and assistant director are dating.
Sometimes I wonder why the boy in my English class feels the need to argue everything.
Sometimes I wonder how the girls in my class do their makeup so precisely.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without my siblings.
Sometimes I wonder what I would do if my best friend died.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I died.
Sometimes I wonder about my future.
Sometimes I wonder how we're all connected without really being connected at all.

i don't believe in being in love
i believe that there are people i love
and there are people you love
and there are a few people we love
but we will never love
each other
because that's
a fairytale --
-- and everything else in them
was false.

i got in a fight with her daughter
the other day and now it's like
i'm a kid again
and she's the woman
who thinks children should be seen
and not heard

but i should be seen; i need to be heard

i'm going to scream until my throat bleeds.

they say we accept the love
we think we deserve
so where's the love i deserve
where's the love
where's the love

some of my friends have this habit
of waking up with letters on their foreheads
and falling asleep with numbers
on their lips

what happened to
when you grow up,
you can be anything

now people are essentially saying
you lost the right to a future
with your grade on that math test

do you see an L
on my face?

i won't starve just because
i'm not a human
calculator.

there is too much space
on the sides of my face
and sometimes i imagine
slicking it off
someone once told me
that's called "self-hate"
but i traded their terminology in for
"self-improvement"
everytime.

maybe that's why
i think of "hate"
everytime someone asks
about a synonym
for "beauty."

your ******* face

i just want the road to feel real again
i want to feel the cold of the snow and weep
i want to sob, hard
and reattach.