Music; an expression of emotion, written in such a way that to anyone else would've been impossible to craft exactly that way, with a beat, melody, harmony, counter melody, vocals that take away the hurt, but at the same time bring old feelings rushing back, making you relive all those painful memories. It's almost soothing to do nothing but blankly stare at a wall or the ceiling while music that perfectly locks with your current emotional state is playing nearby. It's comforting to understand that the writer of that music felt exactly the way you do, for the same or possibly a different reason. I don't know why it's comforting when other people are in the same ****** situation as you, but for some reason it brings this feeling of relief, knowing that we're all in the same boat, going through the same problems, and all self-destructing in our personal time-bomb capsules, or bodies as I guess most people would refer to them. For many of us the timer on our bombs is running low, and pretty soon we'll be blown to pieces, but hey, at least there are others just like us, right? Who knows, or cares, because I sure as hell don't, but maybe that's the problem, maybe that's my problem, none of us care or want to, and its not just about certain things like work, drama, or being the best at something, anything for that matter, but we collectively find ourselves without interest in anything or anyone. Music touches the soul in a way that nothing else can. It repairs the broken pieces, temporarily if nothing else, and it aids the scratches, bumps, and bruises, but our hearts and souls are forever scarred, and music is the only thing to touch those scars so tenderly. Music is more than a friend or family, it has a special place in my heart, with a label of where it belongs, so nothing else takes up that space, without it, my heart would have a permanently empty hole. But that's all my heart is anyway.

"Turn around,
Shut your mouth,
Sit up straight,
Don't look around.
Be a lady,
That's not ladylike,
Don't dress that way,
You look like a ****.
Hold your chin up,
That's not high enough,
Now that's too high,
Don't make this tough.
Just do things right,
Won't you learn,
Do it perfect,
Or you shall burn.
Don't let this scare you,
Just be proper,
If your eyes get red,
Use the eye dropper.
Brush your teeth,
And brush them well,
If they aren't white enough,
You'll go to hell.
Comb your hair,
Get all the knots out,
Just listen to me,
And I won't have to shout.
Just be pretty,
Just be perfect,
It's not that hard,
And it's definitely worth it.
No one likes,
Girls with braids,
Or buns, or ponytails,
Those aren't cool these days.
Powder your face,
Oily skin is a no-no,
Leave your face bare,
And you'll look like a hobo.
Stay in fashion,
And in style,
And you'll fit in,
For a while.
Until they notice your personality,
Sad as it may be,
You need to be different than yourself,
Heck, be more like me.
The more alike we all are,
The better it will be,
Because we'll stop being, him and her,
And we'll start being we."

Don't romanticize life.
Dirt is dirt.
Ugly is ugly.
Trees burn.
And sometimes things are ****.

Nobody's perfect.
Especially you.
Nothing is perfect.
Especially your perfect eyes.
And how you laid perfectly with your head in my lap.
And how you perfectly stared at that purple octogon on the wall.
And how I called you perfect.
Imperfect.

Don't romanticize those books you read.
I could burn every copy.
Don't exaggerate how much you love that author.
I could shoot him in the chest.
Don't talk about a greater good.
I know we don't have one.

You.
Don't have one.

Selfish.
Skinny.
Pale girl.
With imperfect perfect eyes.

Faces Broken,
Words unspoken.
Never ending,
The truth is bending.
You keep lying,
My soul is dying.

If I could put myself into your shoes,
Absorb the hurt and the blues you're going through,
Then give back your shoes,
All clean from pain,
Just so you wouldn't have that agony,
I would do it.
If I could trade all the good things in my life,
For all the bad in yours, I would trade them,
So that you could live happily,
Yes, I would do it.
If I could trade my life, for your happiness,
I wouldn't hesitate to make that offer,
In an off, pulsating, heart-beat, I would trade everything I am
For you to be happy, because,
You see,
That's all I want.
And I would do it.
This isn't some sort of mockery,
Or "want to be" love poem,
But the truth behind my loving friendship for you,
Whether you see it or not,
I'd give up my last breath,
So you could smile one more time,
Yes, I would do it.
It's in moments like these,
Where I contemplate the entirety of my existence,
Because I would end my world,
For you to have an exciting and happy life,
Don't question that, because,
Yes, I would do it,
But is that the right mindset?
Giving up everything you have, life included,
For the betterment of someone else?
I feel I'm at the point of choosing,
The betterment of someone else,
Over the betterment of myself,
And believe me,
I would do it.
You're the axle of my world,
Part of the reason my world is spinning,
There isn't anyone else I'd want
Pulling on my heart-strings,
Which is why, I'd give it all up for you,
I want you to know this, because,
I truly mean every word I say, and,
I would do it.

The weight on my shoulders,
The pressure on my spine,
I was pulled from the wreckage,
Lucky to be alive.

But am I really lucky?
What is there for me to live for?
The guilt, pain, being a burden,
And others, always expecting more?

My body aches and cracks,
Like I am old and frail,
But I'm just a kid, a teenager,
With a few loose nails.

******* up and odd,
I had my whole life planned out,
But once I was pulled from the wreckage,
Those plans have turned to doubts.

I'm not really that ordinary,
I'd like to think extraordinary,
but that might be going
just a bit too far.
No matter what I say, though,
I know the way I want to go,
and that more than anything
I don't want to blend in.
I'm different, I'm unique,
always thinking on my feet,
standing up for my beliefs
so that I may stand out,
out from the crowd.
No need to speak so loud.
Actions speak louder than words,
after all.
I won't be just another face
in this world of endless people.
I want to be me,
not someone else.
I will not conform,
I will not give in,
I will always only just simply be myself.
And no one can convince me to do otherwise.
They'd be wasting their time,
and worse, they'd waste mine.
I certainly won't spend a dime
to be something I'm not.
And they should know that now,
not later.
I am standing out from the normal,
the ordinary,
the boring.
I am standing out to take control
of my life and of my world.
I am standing out,
and I'll never look back.