If you knew that I stayed up late
Every night, thinking about you,
Thinking about us
Would that change anything?

If you knew that I have changed,
In more ways than one,
To try to hold onto you,
Would that matter to you?

If you knew that every night,
I hold a knife to my wrist,
Thinking about what we could have been,
Would that make you feel anything?

If you knew that I spend
Hours crying over you,
And everything we were,
Would you care, then?

Doesn't matter.

If you knew how many nights
I spent, drinking away my sorrows;
Blues that you caused,
Would you start to give a ****?

If you knew the things I've done,
The people I've been with,
The places I'd been,
If you knew, would anything change?

I'm growing up,
So daddy, let me go,
I'm not sure when,
But yes, I'll come home.

I must move on;
Explore the world on my own,
I'm not sure when,
But yes, I'll come home.

Don't try to hold me back,
Because I need to do this on my own,
I'll always need you,
But this, I need to do alone.

I'll miss you too,
But it won't be long before I'm home,
So daddy, don't cry,
I'll miss you while I'm gone.

Dry up your tears now,
There's no need to cry,
I'm just growing up,
I'm not going to die.

I'll be back before you know it,
I'll wrap my arms around you,
You'll pretend you didn't miss me,
The way you always do.

But daddy, I must go now,
I have places I need to be,
So stay strong as I promise you this,
This won't be the last time you see me.

When I was younger,
I used to always see which raindrop,
On the window of the car would beat
All the other raindrops to the bottom
Of the window.
I'd sit there, watching, concentrating so hard,
Just to guess and be wrong,
As another raindrop would pull ahead
At the last second.
I was always so amazed by the raindrop
That won, that I'd pay no attention to the others,
In the same way, you're that raindrop that won;
You're all I paid attention to,
And now the only raindrops that win
Are the ones that fall down my cheeks.

Everytime a blade enters my bloodstream,
I feel closer to you.
Not because of anything else, more than the fact that
You hurt me.
The cold blade, like your cold words, cuts into me;
Blood pouring out.
And in the same way as before, I bleed and ache;
I am hurt.
My blood, warm as my love was for you,
And you don't care.
I can only imagine our happiness now,
I can no longer feel it.
Same too with my image of you, it is going, fading
Behind my cloudy eyes.
Its okay though dear, because I am now weak,
I am cold like your heart.
And no matter what you said or will say,
You can't tear us apart.
Because I will always love you.

My smile might be bright,
But my soul is black,
My heart turned to stone
When you stabbed me in the back.

I completely stopped caring,
I don't know why I'm still alive,
I'm dead on the inside,
Yet for some reason I still survive.

All I know is I'm not the same person,
I'm not who I used to be,
You aren't either,
But I still wish you'd come back to me.

They say people change,
And ****, are they right,
But honestly, I miss you more and more,
Each and every night.

Now don't get confused,
Don't let my bright smile fool you,
I seem all put together,
But my heart is still shattered.

You're supposed to care,
So when you want to start,
Ill be waiting here;
Waiting for you to give a ****,
About your own flesh and blood.
As everday goes on,
I lose hope more and more
That you'll ever care.
But you've clearly proven
That you never have and never will,
So why do I even bother?

Who are you
To come into my life and take over?
What right do you have?
None.
None at all.
You might be good,
You sure think you are,
But your attitude says otherwise.
You don't even care.
Well I do.
And guess what?
That doesn't even matter any more.
You've stomped in
And stomped on my life.
Everything I've worked for.
All for nothing, now.
8 years of my life: wasted.
What was the point?
If you were just going to ****** up everything I loved?
You've taken the joy,
The passion, out of life.
You've taken what I stand for
And thrown it out
To be picked up with the trash.
How dare you.
You tear me apart, make me crazy!
And not in any good way.
I tried to get along,
Play nice.
But you made it hard.
Impossible.
We are opposites, enemies, opponents in all things.
Every time I do something,
You go and do it better.
You always show me up,
And every time it tears me down.
You keep winning, and there's nothing I can do.
I wish there was.
I'm miserable. All the time.
I can't stand to be near you, to hear your voice.
You torment me in person and in thought.
I would tell you I hate you,
But hate is too good a word,
And frankly,
Hell's too good a place.

If I drank once for every instant I thought about you,
I'd be a drunken fool, living in a permanently drunken world.
If I raised my cup every time I thought about you,
My glass would be so high, and never come down.

If I took a hit for every memory of you flowing through my brain,
I'd be so high, I couldn't breathe from all the smoke.
If I rolled a blunt for every memory of you on my mind,
My fingers would be sore, never getting a chance to heal.

Little would you know that those drinks have been drunk,
My glass is always raised, and on the same days,
My lungs get smoked out, with a high that lasts forever;
And those blunts have been rolled and still are being rolled.

But don't worry, maybe one day I'll stop; but probably never.
I can't stop thinking of that moment, when you made that promise,
The one about you and me, and "forever".

When I am weary,
I do not weep.
I hold in my tears
And fall into deep sleep.

My mind starts to wander
Through dreams of pure bliss.
But then I am falling
Down an abyss.

Confused and in shock,
I ****** out my hand,
To grab onto something
Before reaching land.

With nothing to hold,
I start to lose hope.
I glance down and see blue,
Then land in a boat.

It rocks back and forth,
As the wind blows,
Sailing proud on the ocean,
Where headed? Who knows.

Seasick and alone,
I leap into waves.
Head bobbing in, out,
I try to stay brave.

Now fully submerged,
No air to take in.
My lungs getting tight,
Oh, is this the end?

Holding in my last breath,
I squeeze my eyes shut,
Then I pray and I pray
To be out of this rut.

I open my mouth
To fine, glorious air.
My eyes come to a squint,
And I only stare.

My dream at an end,
Or nightmare I'd say,
I can finally relax,
My fear now at bay.

I think of the sadness
From before and I sigh,
And now after so much,
I let myself cry.

My tears, though, are not
As fresh as can be.
I cry salt water tears,
My dream, now reality.