i still feel the urge
of the clear water of escape and roughly 90 sleepy circles,
and the call of the shiny one who shows me my own
haemoglobin.
i still want to float away to the clouds in silence
in the still air of tranquility of nothingness
i still yearn to be nothingness
to become the air we breath

but i cant bare to leave you.
not here.

i need Your hand in mine forever.
i crave your thumb's pulse breathing on mine.
you say you love me too.
our thumbs entwined;
they can break these bricks
they can set us free
from all the *******.

folding the pages to an escape
consume the clarity
worth the calories?
cut cut cut
you ate. You stupid *****.

the edible woman.
girl, interrupted.

my eyes track along the shapes of my sanctity
a little train to my escape
i run as fast as my eyes can carry me.
isolated in my alphabets

my bell jar.

the Grecian shapes have fenced around me
but I'm snug as a gun.
and i cannot force myself to my own conceit.

Seamus Heaney
Shakespeare

my true friends.
listen to me. Speak to me
through their squiggles and stories.
who don't ask me to eat.

With every fragment and fibre of my being brain body soul and spirit
I love you and I'll die for you.
You don't need to love me back.
You can hate me.
But this love exists inside of me;
a most dark and dorset place.

You don't need to love me back.
Because we existed once.
at one point.
And That's all i really need.

I know
I'm your second chance
at life.
I'm the second you.
Pressure.
I'm not doing too well
and neither are you.

4 kids. Depressed. Hopeless. Crying under the stars.

I cut. I purge. I fast. I cry. I keep too many secrets.

we were meant for each other.
We just weren't meant to be.

Everything.
i love everything about you.

each Fluttering Blonde Eyelash
grant wishes that i can only hope of

each crease in your Lips
every rib of their soft pink kisses leave

each flicker of your Blue Green Silver Yellow Eyes
smiling at me without moving your Mouth.

i love your Hands
find their way around
my waste
without your eyes
despite its disgusting 9 meter span.

i love how You know what im thinking
or atleast the things i let my eyes tell you.

i love Everything about you.
i love You.

Infinitely.

lets go for a Starbucks and instagram our every move;
lets document our lives via Facebook photo filter;
lets make cocktails that we'll never drink and only photograph and that we'll stir with sticks we'd rather stab into each others eyes;
lets stretch our skin into smiles so noone will say but they thought you were friends.
lets drink lambrini because she doesn't like *****;
lets not ask if she doesn't like ***** because she might show some human emotion or express feeling about her parents' loveless marriage and her tutu barbie pink childhood;
lets go to parties and not remember them
because we didn't do anything except pose for flashes for people we don't like but strive to satisfy;

lets paint our lips with the colour of secrets:
untold tales of how mummy and daddy hate each other;
or how girls are more attractive than boys;
or that Oscar Wilde will always be hotter than Justin Bieber.

the art of being a "white" girl.
white because there can be no colour in a dictatorship.
she strings her puppets,
has them clap their hands and polish her shoes
when really
WE SHOULD TOTALLY JUST STAB CAESAR