Kathryn

Kathryn Feb 2014

You cut yourself up like your skin is paper
And the blood the tears your eyes just won’t cry
The days don’t seem to have the same life they once did
And the night never seemed so dark
You’ve lost hope in everything
Trying so hard to hold on
But it’s hard to keep on fighting
When you can’t put your finger on
What the **** is wrong
Why is you feel this way
Why you hurt so deep
....

Kathryn Jan 2014

Your Sweater

I found your sweater today
The last item I have of yours
It was hidden away under the bed
I must have missed it when I was packing your things
It was just a small box
I never came for my stuff do you still have it?
I held your sweater close
It still smells like you
It’s like you’re still here with me
But I can’t let myself think like that
It ended for a reason
Do you want the sweater back?
Maybe I won’t tell you I have it
Pull it out on the nights I miss you most
When the darkness seems too deep
No if you don't want it back
It’s going up in flames!
Just like our future
Nothing left but ashes
Nothing left but memories
I found your sweater today
And it’s.......
******* destroying me

Kathryn Jan 2014

Pieces

There are thousands of tiny pieces to me
I’m not whole at all
I’ve been broken and remolded so many times
I don’t recognize myself anymore
Every time I make a cut
Every time you rose you’re hard
Bits were broken tears were shed
A fragile being in the hands of a storm
Excepted the hand of fate
Take the razor clean and sharp
Make the changes needed
Maybe piece by pieces one day I'll carve
The person I want to be

sometimes.....I just want out....

Kathryn Jan 2014

Paint a white room red

It’s cold when you’re lonely
The sun never seems to warm any part of my body
I miss having someone care about the little things
The things that now matter most
I never would have guessed it would come to this
A time where I really can see ending it all
Sometimes I wonder if it’s me, Am I the one to blame?
It’s dark inside my head most times
I can fake a smile well
Pretend everything is perfect
That I don’t spend all my time alone
The truth of the matter is, there’s no one there at all
Every day I wonder if anyone would care
That I could hurt myself so easy
Without a worry without despair
When night falls in hour’s time
Ill paint a white room red

Kathryn Jan 2014

(untitled at the moment)

Haunted dreams
Every night I fear sleep
Fighting myself to stay awake
They wait in the dark
Hide in the walls
Strange shapes unfamiliar forms
Grotesque figures
Nightmares
Awake to the panic
Screaming into the night
Tears, shaking, cold
Remind yourself
None of its real....
Dreams
God it seems so real
Curl back up
You need to sleep
Only hours left
Until the sun rises

Kathryn Jan 2014

Through the night

If you only knew
The times I’ve cried myself to sleep
Covered in blood
After fighting with myself
I could feel it just below the skin
Frustration, anger, regret
Take the blade
Make each cut count
Don’t rush
For a single moment
Everything’s alright
Watch the blood drip
Clean it up
Do it again
Do it until I’m calm
Until I feel alive again
Until I know I’ll be okay
That I’ll make it through the night

every night for me...

Kathryn Jan 2014

It was never meant to be

The moment when it all crashed down
When something needed to change
Heartbreaking or empowering
Oceans of madness waded threw
So many words so many memories
To just walk away would it be right?
Sometimes its bitter other times its sweet
Do I stay to watch us destroy ourselves or
Turn my back on everything
Forget every moment every wish
Start again paint it white
It really is that easy this time
I owe you nothing
You owe me the world
But I think I'm willing to pretend
It was all a misunderstanding
Things will never be the same
Please don't think they will
Too much hurt to many bruises
To just let it all start again
You will never know
The times I prayed things would change
But Love I’ve come to see
It was never meant to be