I was happy
I was stable
I met someone who made me laugh
And I woke up
None of it was true
Im all alone
No one to hold
No one to carry my burdens for me
I tried carrying yours because I know what It feels like to carry them on your own
Reality sets in
Im afraid
I wont get to see my dreams come true
It doesnt matter what you do you wont get the same in return
Someone will always take your place
You're not special
Your house doesnt feel like a home
Each day you question your worth
Am I good enough? Am I worthy of love?
I cant carry on living
I might as well just shut down
Time flies
My worries dont
They stay with me until I cry myself to sleep
Heaven is a place I dont belong

Some days I feel fine, like the world is alright
Summer time is my jam
But my feelings I cannot tell
They are not the same each day
Somedays I dream of them
And my love is not defined by what you say or by how you act
But by the level of rejection that you provide
Im filled with traumas and feeling unkind
My heart is huge but this love it shuts down with time
I get bored I cant unwind but when we are apart I just dont feel fine

I wish I had a son and a daughter
So I could teach him how to always care for eachother
I never had that
Felt rejected since birth
My sister grew up and stayed away from me
Now being alone is all I see
Those relationships made me unwell
But now I can do what I can and help who I can
Change is always good but the chance must be in you
Leave those worries behind
Just enjoy whoevef you have in your life

I'm asking that you give the same in return
The same love I give with all the passion that I know
I just see promises burned
You surely have a group of friends that you can count on
But when you are feeling weak, you reach out to me
But when I'm feeling alone, you don't call at all
I've always felt rejected since I was a toddler
By you, by everyone I know
Now, as an adult, the same feelings
I don't know how to deal with rejection
It's like I can't get passed it
That I'm never the one to call
I'm never that person you want to spend your time with
My heart is shattered, I feel so alone
I just wanted, a sister, a brother, a lover to call my own

This Sunday is my demise
Alone in the dark
No one to call my own
Just expectations from people
Just requirements of help
My heart is shattered
I hate Sundays, I really do
It reminds me I'm not for you or for anyone
I keep trying to do good
I don't deserve anything at all
I came into this world to suffer
I came to this life to pay
This feeling of emptiness that doesnt go away
I see the moon, and I see myself alone out there
Asking for help
But no one hears me, no one can see me
I'm all alone in my shell
Waiting for someone to save me
But no one comes
No one is there
I eat some ice cream
I drive around
And my heart beats faster than the speed of light
I don't know what else to do
Life is meaningless, Life is blue
For some people like me and you

Who am I suppose to be? Not free
Not loved or without pain
Just a recklace soul with a troubled mind
And peace is nowhere to find
How come this world is only good for some?
How come I dont get a light on the road?
Just steping stones
Cast a rock at the cross
Till death due us part
My death is unknown until I can resist
My life and the hardships
Just know I did my best to let go

Can people let me say whatever I want?
Can I just write without any judgement on your part?
This is therapy for me
I just express what my heart wants
Its not to hear a reply or for you to give me advice
I know what my flaws are
I know I need to help myself
But can you just stop commenting your thoughts?