the phantom facebook message blip
pervades beneath picture atlantic
while i sit in my room.

He loves me like a dog;
Not a pet, not a beloved family member
But a common mutt,
cast into the wild
when I do not fetch the bone he throws me.

He loves only when I do not howl at the moon
for the injustice and evil of this cruel life.
He loves on a seasonal this-and-that sort of term
And kicks at my chest
when I sleep on his sofa or lick at his heels.

He breaks me like a horse-
To become his archetype-
And revolts at the Jezebel I am supposed to be

And yet,
this dog comes crawling back to the arms who should love me

unconditionally…

I come back to my accuser,
I crawl to my stereotype-

After all I am a **** good maid.

Life isn't really as simple as boy meets girl anymore.
Maybe it never was.
I still think about the curve of his hips, the taste of his lips and the deep hastened breaths as I pressed my body against his in eager anticipation of an ecstasy formerly unknown.
it haunts my heart,
my soul,
my dreams,
that you - my sweet blue eyed confusion -
told me you loved me and left.
Only to throw my reciprocal adoration into the arms of another
and somehow
I can't hate you.
I see you two together and somehow find the fault lies with me?
Did you simply act out of necessity?
What was it that you wanted all those nights in my arms?
Do you not know that I would draw you close even now
if you gave me the chance.
Passion is not something that can pass on a whim.
Its a powerful force, that drives us from within.
Its a chemical explosion as flesh caresses flesh
and yet, it is a soul
not simply this touch,
that often causes everything to just become too much.
When the rains stopped pouring,
the earth became dry,
And somehow, I knew that this would never truly die.

I say a begrudged goodbye and tell myself its for the best.
Somewhere I hope
that your heart will find rest.