fake smiles
lies without hesitation
i believed

you believed i wouldn't

why?

best friend of my dear unrequited love
he who was there in the darkest days of back then
who slowly took my heart by storm with his whirlwind words
he holds me
he hugs me
he kisses me
and yet we cannot seem to figure ourselves out
what we have between us is unique
yet now he does not seem to register that I kiss back, too.
but he cares
and he worries
and he smiles
and he breathes
and that is quite enough for me.

You were such a treat to hear from
The opinions you gave made me realize my mistakes.
I'd give you feedback, reveling in the fact that, yes,
I WAS AN IDIOT.
But your answers soon drifted away
They became less and less frequent
Until one day, I found that our correspondence was gone.
Removed.
Deleted.
I feel like I went back hundreds of spaces on the game board of life that day.
What will it take to show you that it meant something to me?

To her, you are like an angel in her hell.
A goddess she only knows with words and videos.
A chipped smile she bears, fixed
She feels for you
Imitates your emotions on her keyboard
Laughs when you do
Frowns the same as you
Just because it makes her feel closer.
Miles and miles separate you but
You are close enough to touch.
She dreams about your movements.
Hopes for your words of acceptance.
You are the moon that brightens her dark nights
The sun that she depends on for life.
Your eyes keep her heart beating.
You are the wind beneath her wings,
The drug she uses to keep moving on.
Your smiles set her soul on fire with exuberance
Your lips make her hunger for more.
Each breath she takes sends you more love.

You are her everything, and nothing can break that.

Sneaking glances from the other side of the hallway
I smile desiringly to myself.
All I really want is to call you mine.
To hold your lithe body against my own.
To press my lips to yours.
To grab your hand and never let go.
Your eyes are as deep as the Marianas Trench
And as warm as a fire in the middle of winter.
I feel like you wear a cloak of depression and silence
But I know that deep within your veiled form
There is a bright sun wanting only to shine through
It does get its way sometimes
When a truly happy smile works its way to your face.
I know where you're coming from
We're alike in so many ways....
If only the space between us was gone.

855 miles between you and me.
But yet I feel your pain as if we were hand in hand.
I've given you the strength to keep on living
And you've given me the love I lack.
Baby girl, I worry about you.
Your tears are the rain outside my window
And your blood runs in my veins.
The emotions bottled up in your scarred body
Explode in my own heart as well.
Four more years, my lovely friend.
I expect to meet you there.
Please don't give up.

Sometimes I think that you four are my only hope
The only reason why I have not grown wings and a halo.
The beauty that sounds from your fingers and lips
Wraps itself around me, giving me protection I otherwise do not know.
Your words float into my heart and hold it in a gentle but strong embrace
Your music flows in my veins; it is my lifesource.

I've never gotten the chance to really thank you
For all the love and guidance you bestow me with.
But everyday I thank my lucky stars I found you.

You give me the will to go on
The power to not let anyone take me alive.
Whenever I cannot stand anything anymore
All I have to do is remind myself
That you will be with me.
And I am cured.