A very old man
Huffed and puffed and wheezed his way to a computer in the library today
Thank god there was aircon

I’m so tired of looking at Instagram
I can’t imagine having to huff and puff and wheeze up 6 flights when I’m walking with a cane

I once took Xanax and made sand angels on the beach for hours
There’s so much space on the beach

I bet it was easier to be Paul Varjak in the 60s
They still had stairs,
But otherwise, all you looked at were the clouds and your typewriter.

Tonight I fall asleep with you on my lips
I just got back from Paris and I think I'm still in love with my ex.
I feel like I'm putting on the slippers of my old ghost.

Now I think I was just ovulating.

But I want before sunset,
And passion that radiates out of me
Like the pressure of blood being pushed through veins, that I can’t stop.

A single look can hold infinité passion.
A whole relationship could hold nothing.

The milk in this cereal is going to **** me up later
Every day I fight feelings of emptiness

And the cinemas in Paris have bedbugs.
But that’s alright because the sky above the seine at 9 pm in summer could cure anything.
Except bedbugs.

In Paris I can pretend I'm a piece of seaweed

But I don’t.
Because I could never stand to be alone in silence.
Not even when the church bells ring.

Today I woke up to the warm feeling of your love, more delicate than I’d seen it in you. More sweet and delicious, more ripe, more bare.

I wish I could hold onto every thread of your love, your warm love, keep counting all the places you spelled my name with flowers in the trees.
I wish you loved the freedom in my soul as much as you loved the idea of me. I’ll see you now and again, in dreams where you visit me.

I want to find myself far away from you
And your shallow net of love
Too easily I slipped from your fingers
Too easily I dissipated from your mind

I want to find myself in headlights of dark highways  
And foreign gas stations on roads unknown
Where I’ll feel whole in the lust of mystery
Where fresh beginnings grow on every corner

Where the scent of the air breathes differently
And color of the trees shine brighter
I want to find myself away from your memory
I fear how far I’ll have to outrun the roots of our intertwined youth.
I don’t want you to exist to me anymore.

I wish I could drag you into my wildest dreams
And we’d play like children

And you’d look after me
As we stroked on gently into slow living
And I kissed your cheeks in the kitchen
And we watched clouds from our garden
And rode bikes down to the water
And held hands as the sun set