"No.
No you absolutely can not go to the store to buy some beer
you! you are too young
just stay inside and watch some TV
beer is for losers
no go and make your dad another G&T;
during the commercial break"

Feeling thirsty?
Want to be liked and respected?
want to be fun?
life of the party?
want to be swarmed by a slew of half naked vaginas with legs?
then get yourself a Bud

"Why can't you be happy with what you have?
you know we never had much growing up
and look at us now
a pair of reasonably comfortable adults
don't you want to be reasonably comfortable?
can't you just be yourself?"

Hey you! Yeah you!
what the hell are you just sitting there for?
It's a Friday night why aren't you out partying?
no invitation. ****. Wait I know why -
What's that you are wearing?
you don't know!?
you need some Polo
and some Nike, just do it
throw in some brooks brothers
don't you want people to think better of you
don't be THAT guy in cargo shorts
unless you like ******* alone at night
and here's some Beats by Dre headphones
so you can hear us better
Now I no it's pricey, but don't you want to be happy?
we've got your happiness right here
and it will only cost you
your parents' credit card

"We just don't know what's wrong with you
why are you in such a rut?
get out of bed, go and do something
we got you what you asked for
why can't you be satisfied?
a lenovo 2 in 1?
what the hell is a Lenovo 2 in 1?
A laptop and a tablet?
Why?
Oh, you just have to have one
well I'm sorry, but money has been tight
maybe you should get a job
your birthday is right around the corner..."

Look at this cool guy
Look at how great his life is
you want this. We know you do
what you'll need is some more swag
just a little bit
and some cough syrup, expensive liquor and some ***
plus you'll want some *******
how else can you party this hard?
Maybe get a gun, or a knife
no. Definitely get a gun. A big one
that way nobody will say anything to **** your buzz
carry that big stick and walk tall cool dude
oh yeah, here's a secret for you
keep it to yourself alright?
women really like being treated like ****
we told them to

"What's that?
a gun? For what?
oh so now you're going to **** yourself?
well I'm sorry but we don't do that in this family
you'll just have to be ground into submission like everybody else
what makes you so special, huh?
why do you get to punch out early
shut up, keep your head down, do your job, buy some ****, have a family
then get your kids started with all the **** you buy.
brand name baby clothes and such.
now be a good boy
and pay your taxes
but shush, the TV is on"

Beware the honest man
For honest men have nothing to hide

I don't sleep much anymore.
It's the same as when we first met,
even though it's not the same.
I used to think "alone" was an adjective,
now I know it's just the state
of not fitting anywhere.
I don't fit anywhere.
There's nowhere to call home.
I hate being awake,
it just reminds me you're not here.
I hate being asleep,
it just reminds me that I'll wake up.
I don't write much anymore.
I have nothing left.
Words can't describe the 
pounding in my head,
or the emptiness in my bones.
So when you ask, "What's wrong?",
I don't have much to say besides,
"I don't sleep much anymore."

The other day my mother told me
I should be a writer.
I did not have the heart to tell her
that I am everything but a writer.
I hear too much in silences.
I think oceans are often lonely,
and trees don't always want to let go.
More than half of my books
are less than halfway finished.
Someone once told me,
"You're too young to be so old",
but I didn't notice,
I was too busy losing things
I never had.
I'm not weak,
I'm just broken.
Most days are overwhelming;
I often think of not existing.
You should try it sometime,
it's peaceful knowing you don't
mean anything to anyone.
It's a shame sadness seeps
through fingertips, otherwise
one day I might write; even though
I am everything but a writer.

Plight for sore eyes,
Dreams made in the dark,
Drawing circles around you,
I fill the air between the stars and me with desperate measures,
Pray that I'm not sifted,
I'm fighting nets at night,
Exchanging hands with waves,
Why do I embrace the sea?
This struggle....
Always defining the world around me,
It's not real,
But the waves swell beneath their master moon,
She pulled me under,
My paper boats with twisted black ink answers have unfolded,
Escapism: A kingdom has crumbled,
A ruin beneath an ocean,
Admitting I know nothing,
I wash ashore

It comes and goes in lunar waves
flying above the mountain top
then the nosedive
we suggest the cabin prepare for impact in ten. nine eight seven....
it's a water landing

If it was sixty outside today in December -
then maybe I won't feel so ******
at least until the night comes forth
alone with a head full of thoughts
stumbling through a strangers dark living room
trying to find a light switch

It's all fun and games riding a wave back to shore
but the wave recedes and leaves you with a back covered in sea shell scratches
swim out a little further
ride a little longer, a little bigger, lively, dangerous.
keep swimming further out
shoot for the sand bar
or the reef
but you might find yourself lost
helpless in the clutches of some foul riptide

Victims pay the price eventually
a role clad in escape
store windows full of things
that were never your fault
but you have a pocket full of change
hands shake
stomach growls
skin itches
tell yourself no
and cave in just like always
tomorrow's better for me anyway

No Mom, No Dad
everything is fine
oh yeah and merry Christmas
cheers and blessings
quality time with the people you love
in that costume you don so often that
it's hard to tell one side of the cracked mirror from the other
pound fist into open palm open palm onto flushed face
sweating and clammy and growling at the waist
shake it off champ,
the next round starts now

Now picture a small stretch of city
on that beautiful sixty degree December afternoon
maybe it's uptown or the arts district
you are with friends
conversations -
easy and honest. Organic.
talk of dreams and goals
bask in the sunlight. leisure.
sit outside at the cafe with an iced coffee
in the most-hipstery jar you've ever seen
who cares?
drink it down
enjoy it
days like this don't come around often
unless you make them