dark places
slightly humanoid faces
weightless air
with nothing there

unless, of course
you count those voices
of those deranged
in the mental mind
seeking others
of their kind

do you come from this world
complicated things unfurled
none the less
ive done my best
but the rest,
is yet to be done

The only mistake I ever made,
was sitting back and feeling afraid
never running any plays
feeling that loss is my fault
at the end of the day


and it is by what the stats will display
but look into my eyes
i'm doing everything i can
you can yell all you want
but i'm only one man
you can try to bring me down
but yet i will still stand

i now know
what it is like
to lose.

to lose the person
that you hold
closest to your heart.

to lose the one
and only person
that ever ment
anything in the
world to you.

to lose the one
who made you laugh
who could rarely
make you cry.

and the one
who could always
make your day..

the flavor of your kisses
leave me suddenly stunned
pulling back my hair
as you pull out the gun

press it to my shouder blades
and pull the trigger back
as you say those hurting words
"this is for the love you lack"

hearing you begin to cry
while im laying on the floor
motionless am i,
as you say "it was you that i adored"

shooting me again,
all down my broken spine
you laugh maliciously,
and you hear me scream and whine

finally you numb my pain
with one more blow to the head
congragulations to you,
i am finally dead

from my abrupt body,
my soul begins to rise
and then i see you from above,
the tears pour out your eyes

i can hear you praying
quietly to yourself
i wish i wouldve though
of more then just myself

now i am in heaven
still watching over you
and everyday i see you cry
because theres nothing you can do

you cannot fix
what it already done
now im laying on heavens floor
as you drop the gun

then you cry for hours on end
cutting your wrist so thin
as an angel, i protect you
but not from your feelings within

you look up to the black sky
staring at the stars
then you say "i did love you"
and look back down at your scars

then you pick the gun back up
and hold it to your head
then you say "baby ill join you"
as you shoot yourself, dead.

**now in heaven, you lay next to me
and we reunite
a tragic end for both,
for one loveless fight..

The one with the pink bows in her hair
giving you that graceful stare
she falls in love, her eyes turn to hate
he broke her heart, nothing to appreciate
eyes turn ****** red
as she holds the gun up to his head
heart turned to solid stone
the side of her that is now shown
the side that no one likes to see
the pain rested deep inside me
the bleeding begins to start
when i blast the pistol through his heart
now you see that my pain
is your pain without a gain

waves crashing
child splashing
newborn baby
growing up crazy

teenage years
mom brought to tears
boy crisist
bro's advice is
let it be
thats the key

key to her heart
then the love starts
heart get broken
she starts smokin'

slowly dieing
eyes are cryin'
begining of sadness
she stops the madness

hits adult stage
makin minimum wage
she's tryin'
still survivin'

kids of her own
livin' off a loan
but makin her way
her kids always say
no matter what, she cares
and by their side, shes there

kiss on the cheek
she don't feel weak
sick of the pain
startin' to gain

her kids grow up and in college
gettin more knowledge
she's gettin' older
but she's strong like a soldier

she lives it through till the end
before she passes all ties mend
her daughter becomes a wife
then sadly the end of mom's life

mommy, you have raised me
from such a little girl
now im so much more
then just your little purl

mommy, youve been here for me
when i just felt the need to cry
and youve helped me through the times
ive just thought to die

mommy, your my role model
you raised me so well
youve kept my spirit up
when my confidence fell

mommy, i have grown up
youve lighten up my life
and youll be the one to walk me
when i become someones wife

mommy, you will be there
when my first baby screams
and youll be there
when my baby has bad dreams

mommy, im lucky to have you
always by my side
you defend me till the end
until one of us diee.

mommy, i know it hurts you
to see me walk away
when you tell me "i love you"
i dont know what to say

mommy, i know i dont say it back
not very often at all
but in the end you know i do
and ill catch you if you fall

mommy, you have picked me up
when i was to weak to stand
you have walked me on the right trail
leading, hand in hand

mommy,  i just wanted to thank you
for all that you have done
and tell you mommy,** i love you

in my secret world
there is no pain or tears
in my screat world
there is no screams or fears

in my secret world
there is only smiles
in my secret world
there in no denial

in my secret world
there is love and lust
in my secret world
there is no such thing as trust

in my secret world
there is no mudd or dirt
in my secret world
no one can get hurt

in my secret world
nothing ties me down
because in my secret world
im the princess that wears the crown

a pale malvolent hand
shines as brightly in the dark
a body moves quietly
slightly **** to stark
mechanically watching
waiting in the dark
and the games
still have yet to start

eyes of blue crystal
and far from expression
jewels shored in the owners head
without them they'd surely
be dead

should it be
non living human
not quite
but slightly an android
moves with a grace
that is someone paranoid

a voice cuts into the ears
like razor blades
not quite hot
but yet it blazes

nails long
but unpainted
fingers long
like broken sticks
one cuts off
still leaving six..

Daddy, please dont leave us
you know you cannot go
you cannot leave your babygirls
not before you watch us grow

daddy, please dont tell us its alright
when we both know its not
just please please please,
dont let us go tonight

daddy, you have to be here
when we fulfill our dreams
you also have to be here
when our first baby screams

daddy, you cannot leave us
without you we'd go nowhere,
and when we graguate from college
daddy, you must be there!

all the nights waking up screaming
and all the past days
that you've woken up
hardly breathing

daddy, when you fall
all we wanna do is help you up
and when you tell us no, to stop
we both feel our hearts quickly drop

daddy, when me and vicky
see pain through your eyes
our own very eyes
start to slowly cry

daddy, please we love you
you gotta hang tight, for us
you have to save three lil' princesses
and prince charmings heart

daddy, we need you
to a longer extent then you think
we need you here with us
to guide us to our dreams

daddy, knowing we're slowly losing you
is a pain we cannot bear
and killing us inside
is the thought that one day

*you won't be here...

you've never seen the world
through my life and eyes
i never would've loved you
if i knew it was just lies

but now the pieces are broken
and it will take more
then just givin a lil help
and all back together again

and all the blood lost
and all the scars made
will never make up
for all the lust filled days

and it wasnt just lust
for the love
but for the blood
and if i move at all
youll see the pattern of the cuts

and there will never be
enough drugs
to take all the pain
away from me..

sliding up and down
no fraction at all
i feel like i am
just going to fall

and you will not save me
youll leave me there to die
cause your rollercoaster of love
just keeps passing me by

then it finally stops
and we can go together
riding hand and hand
i could do this forever

but then once again
our realtionship stops
and i go to the bottom
instead of the top

waiting in line
for just one more chance
you munipulate me
and leave me in a trance

and once again,
i go back up
and you drop me down
feels like our love just blew up

this is crazy
never done
watch closely
the barrel
of the gun

stupid boy
holds it to his temple
he'll blow his brains out
if i dont help him
not to show him how its done
but to teach him not to play with guns

very slowly
with slight grace
i pull the gun
from his face
i cant believe
he was so tired
he fell asleep
without one bullet fired