The difference between you and her
(whom I to you did once prefer)
Is clear enough to settle:
She like a diamond shone, but you
Shine like an early drop of dew
Poised on a red rose petal.

The dew-drop carries in its eye
Mountain and forest, sea and sky,
With every change of weather;
Contrariwise, a diamond splits
The prospect into idle bits
That none can piece together

What becomes of love when it is old
when it is old it is as a desirable lace
intricate and woven with time, highly
desired and coveted by all

What becomes of love when it is new
when it is tender and delicate, as a
newly sprouted blade of grass. pushing
through hardship and growing roots

What becomes of love when it is spurned
when it is spurned it becomes as ash or a
snowflake. easily crushed or blown away
by the winds of hurt and defeat

What becomes of love when it is embraced
when it is embraced it is a fire, not the kind that
scorches or chars. but the kind that engulfs your
soul and glows with the happiness only it can bring

JCM 2013 ©

key twists in lock: the door, my
full-to-the-brim heart
swings eagerly open.

you conquer the gaping
space between us in a
single swift step, arms
open and trembling.

we twine together in
a silence thick with love
and collapse into a dream
of petals and dewdrops.

morning comes softly, glides
on a breeze so as to not
break the shimmering spell
of the night's glories.

i lift sunkissed lids to
beam upon your own
radiant face.

in these moments i know i am truly breathing.

I hate goodbyes
Yet they are the only measurement
Of my eternal life
For the seasons blur together
Only punctuated by farewells

Many goodbyes ago
I did not measure time in this way
I did not see a blur behind me
But a path ahead of me
That was before the darkness

Sun dances on my skin
Scatters through the leaves
Paints flower petals
Then a cloud covered the sun
Cool hands grasped me
I lost the air with which to scream

He was not who I saw my life with
Time is capricious character
For now I can’t see a life without him


Time…
It has changed me
Once a maiden of flowers
Now a matriarch of death

I have lived many lives
Played many roles
And yet it would seem live
Is a strong word

To be alive one must be born
This I have done twice
One side of me birthed from my mother
One side of me reborn
From the heart of a pomegranate

To live one must at some point die
Without dark light is not light
Without warmth there is no cold
There must be the opposition
To create identity

Without winter there is no summer
The change of the two a constant in my life
Unlike time that is counted by its running out
I live a life measured by transition

I can't lie to myself,
You're still on my mind.
Every second, of every day.

Body doubled,
Huddled for warmth.

Cold sweat.
Thumping movements.
Buzzing fingertips.
Itching apparitions.
Mighty seraphim's dreams.
The danger of an open mouth,
The Tempest of the dunes lingers.

Unclasped hands,
No longer able to etch
The tablet.

I took my lyre and said:
Come now, my heavenly
tortoise shell: become
a speaking instrument

Anxiety and depression
collide within me;
a tornado raging,
stealing my air,
pulling me in.
The debris of my life,
swirling around,
destroying everything
threatens my death.
Fight or flight --
my legs are tired;
my fists are weak.
The storm grows black;
I cannot move.

For my "Big Brother".*
Love Always, *****.

You said it was adorable
The way my hair curled
around the hollows of my neck
Brushing across my skin
like a
n o o s e

You said my looks could shatter glass,
that my repugnant features
would SURELY guarantee a life of solitude
You loved to point out my flaws
And how my laugh was too late
breathing too loud
walking too fast

The shallow scars on my wrists
were alluring to you
you encouraged me to make more
and I loved the kiss of cold metal just a little too much
and
you
loved
that
I
loved
it.

You said you understood me
my thoughts were dark and scattered
I wasn't always able to share them with you
But I didn't need to
you already
"u n d e r s t o o d"

my dark companion
the only one I ever trusted
We fought our demons together
Dragging the other to hell as well

You wasted no time in telling me
what a waste I was
of skin
of space
and I wasted no time in  b e l i e v i n g  you

You would hold me in your arms
and whisper bittersweet nothings
compliments with a hard slap attached
convincing me I was far more flawed than I am.

We fought like rabid wolves
growling,
hissing,
howling,
circling,
nipping at my ankles,
you'd force me to f a l l.

tearing and ripping apart flesh
with words
and my feeble palms
left angry red marks on your chest and face
but my struggle only made you more eager

Every tear that fell from my face
gave you life
every sob that came from my throat
gave you a voice
you could not stand alone
you said
y o u  c o u l d   n o t   l i v e   w i t h o u t   m e

You said I didn't understand you
that I could never comprehend the torment YOU
were experiencing
I was FAR too dull to see.

It wasn't until I realized
I didn't need to play your childish games
I didn't need you
or your "passionate, intense" heart.

Once I stopped hitting back
your blows became harder

Not worthy of love.

Not worthy of life.

Not worthy of existence.

And I believed you.
I trusted you.

E n d   i t,
you said.
Peering down at the street far below us

You said to.

The height was dizzying

Y o u   s a i d
"Jump."