"hello" her voice sings
A familiar melody
That I can sing along to

A song of summer days
A dream of secrets
Falling from those lips
Where lust now lingers
The color of stolen wine
Sipped together in the shadows

My hands twist braids
From perfect silk
Let me be caught forever
In these fiery knots

I lie with her
In a bed of downy green
The sweetest home I have ever known

Her smell intoxicates me
Sweet-like cotton candy

God make me strong enough
To deprive this rose of sunlight
So maybe it will die
Before the whole world sees
And scorches it
With words of fire

maybe he will smother it
With his subtle demands
And glass kisses

Teenage curiosity carries him
Through my silence
As I dream of her pale eyes
Soft where he is hard

What would it be like to kiss
That pouting yielding mouth?

She calls my name
And talks of his hands
Covering her body
The finest Gown

Would that it be my hands
Would that it be my name
To make her come alive

With each word
A petal falls

I love her

She loves me not

I love her

She loves me not

I bet she tastes
Like her favorite
Strawberry lipgloss

Pressure to be pretty in the unearthly hours of the morning
Eyes pulled down by bags, bloated and yawning
Eyeliner and lipgloss and concealer thick and fast
Covering the callouses, praying it'll last

looking good and smelling good and in the peak of health
Its all an uphill struggle to better your fine self
Judged by a jury of unexperienced youths
Panicing at lunchtime, retouching in the loos.

Hair and eyes and lips and cheeks and clothing and skin
Bottle after bottle, empty in the bin
Scraping and slathering, plucking and plastering.
The never ending problem, thats actually, within.

A lady in blue.



In a purse

unzipped,

A coral pink lipstick

A rose blusher

A bronzed eyeshadow

A fuschia eyeshadow

A black eyeliner

A mascara

A compact powder

A lipgloss.



Strolling in a park,

The purse

clutched.



Poised.

Protected.

If you see my potential
If you see how I can change
If you see the amazing things I could be
Please leave now

If I show you my scars and you think they can heal
If I have a few pounds you think I can loose
If you have faith my income can grow
Please leave now

If you know I could be all you want me to be
If you know I can overcome all of this
If you know I can become the man you want
Please leave now

If you see differences but not shortcomings
If you see unique oddities that add to my charm
If you describe my quirks as adorable
If this version of me is complete enough for you
Then stay a while

Arms held out
Like slender branches without leaves
Unable to receive the sun
Waiting
Tired – and waiting
Till when?
For what?

I stand alone
Frozen, frightened, without power
Can I stay the course for one more day?
Perhaps one more hour?

This pain is gripping
Can I make it one more day?
The loneliness is crushing
My familiar habits could take all that away

Forty-three years I've been like this
Never jailed nor hospitalized
All this time, I've managed to get by
But for a wounded soul and tearful eyes

Too proud to ask for help
Too weak to make it without
Can I stay the course for one more day?
Will I be beaten by fear and doubt?

Maybe I can slip across the line
Maybe just for a day
I know that's a lie
Perhaps I can convince myself anyway

Every moment that goes by
I miss her warm seductive gaze
Couldn't we dance one more time
For an hour or a couple of days?

I know that won't work
This sickness she can't heal
Perhaps peace lies only
Is in the taste of the gunsmith's steel

I've been to a meeting
Actually four
There, I saw something else
Do those people have something more?

These people who meet
These people who share
How could they help me?
Why should they care?

To them … I'm a stranger
To me … I'm a shame
So why the warm embrace?
Why do they even remember my name?

They talk of a Higher Power
Can such a thing be?
But the question is moot
He would never want me

I fell wounded to my knees
A prayer slipped out
My vision a bit clearer
Less blurred by fear and doubt

If I ask for more
Will He grant it to me?
Maybe wisdom and courage
Perhaps acceptance and serenity

But if God is just
I should be punished without end
Instead ... a glimmer of hope
Instead ... a way to begin

Now, could I tell this in the rooms?
No, that's too naked - too daring
But maybe I'm wrong
Perhaps this is the stuff of sharing

You were my first.  
You taught me how to play.
You showed me the ins and outs of love.
Equipped  me with the knowledge I have today.
Your breath on my neck gave me chills
as you opened up a new world of thrills.
Touch here
Kiss there
That look in your eyes
That feeling you gave me made me feel I could fly.
Your nails scratching at my skin
oh how I do enjoy this sin.

First there is the prep.
The roommate.
Wearing salmon colored pants.  
He has Shaggy from ****** Doo
On his left thigh.
The alcoholic.
She has a drinking problem.
She is in denial of her drinking problem.
She hangs out with the loners.
The loners.
Unkempt, unattractive and fat in all the wrong places.
The blond looks like Tom Petty.
The one with dark hair, glasses and braces
They live next door.
Living together but segregated. 
Wild cards.
All of us.

©Gambit '13