Tiny hole inside my heart.
Feels so black.
Not pure and red.
Once was gaping.
So hard to hide.
To mend.
Overflowing with tears.
So hard to comprehend.
Tried to mend.
Layer after layer.
Becoming tattered.
It's closing now.
Time healing all wounds.
Black hole so old and faded.
Once large and gaping.
Memories fade inside our heart.
All that's left is a tiny black hole.
And scar tissue.

I wait on the pier.
I have yet to see you in the distance.
So quiet.
Just slight ripples of water.
I can hear my own heartbeat.
Breath.
Pounding.
Racing.
You are like a ghost in the distance.
An apparition.
You appear out of nowhere .
I have kissed many.
But not you.
I feel your breath from a distance.
Yet you are so far.
I feel the heat of your body now.
It is intense.
Not physical heat.
Passion.
Makes me dizzy.
Spins me.
Who are you.
I want to kiss you forever.
I have never known this taste.
No words to describe it.
Like nothing else.
Like nothing before.
Passion.
A comfort
Fits
Not the physical fit.
The emotional
The spiritual
My head still spins
I want this forever.
Be my forever.

Silly little girls of youth.
With their perky little perfect *******.
Narrow hips and smooth skin.
They look in the mirror and see all their insecurities.
Fantasies about all their lovers to come.
They brag to their friends and feel nothing inside.
But we are the pleasure seekers.
Creatures of seduction.
We brag to our lover
How they race our mind with desire
Turn our lust into reality
Slow our hearts into love.
We are the pleasure seekers.
Our bodies are full and ripe.
We are women
No silliness
Pure honesty
No hidden agenda
Here for pleasure
Not for heartache or pain
No facade of who we aren't
We are the pleasure seekers.
Not needing affirmation in the mirror
The mirror shines back our reflection
Of beauty
Lines only we see
The pleasure is not all ours but our lovers'.
Physical looks not of importance
Its a spiritual existence now
Out of our body of imperfection
Only our lover sees the perfection
We are the pleasure seekers.
We are the women of lovers.

My tears are salty.
They sting my face.
Blur my vision.
I close my eyes and think of the ocean
It is flat
I try to see to the other side.
I cannot.it is endless.
I close my eyes and I see the sand.
Each grain blowing.
I try to see to the other side
I cannot..it is endless.
My thoughts are circling.
Like a pen on a Spirograph.
Circling.I try to stop.
It is endless.
I want them to see my smile.
And remember me.
I want them to remember my mind.
It is brilliant.
I want them to remember my laughter.
It is infectious
I want them to remember my love for them.
It is pure.
My pain is real.
Hurts so much
I want to surrender.
My eyes are closed.
But tears still blur my vision
I am not afraid.
I want them to know
I am not afraid.
I wish I could see beyond to the other side.
My arms are open.
And I am not afraid.
Please remember
I will fly forever.

Blood is the color red.
Evil and fire.
Love and lust.
Rebirth and Jesus.
Danger and anger.

Blood is the color of red of war.
For many who have lost their lives.
And shed blood for freedom.
Blood represents death.

Blood is the color of red running through our veins.
Blood shows no prejudice
Regardless of our skin color
All blood is still the same.

Blood is the color of red cloth.
The killing in the suberbs.
Shows your race.
The slang of gangs.

Blood is the color of red in red wine.
Our grapes of wrath.
Fermenting and full bodied.
The smell of wickedness.

Blood is the color of  red in our love and our passion.
Of St. Valentine.
Of our hearts and our mind.
Days of remembrances.

Blood is the color  of red in  " blood red lipstick".
Attracts us humans through love and lust.
Steals our innocence.
Robs our purity.

Blood is the color of red of Jesus Blood.
It keeps the body of Christ alive.
Brings cleansing to the soul.
Is the rebirth and resurrection.

Blood is a primary color.

I see you on the other side.
You are in my secret garden
The key unlocks the door
You hold the key that fits
Fits our souls.
Holds us together.
I looked for you
In another lifetime
I waited hoping to find you
I thought it would be so simple
Love is complicated
Our souls were a mural on the other side of my secret garden.
I wait a lifetime for the key that fits the door.
I finally found you.
The mural blurs.
And finally you place that key in my hand.

I am drowning inside
I choose to stay down
Under the water
If I come to the surface
I see above the water
Then I realize
What's under the water is a dream
Coming to the surface I must open my eyes
And see the truth.
Reality.

So salty
Sometimes sweet
Can be joy
can be sadness
Holding so much inside a single drop
Each has a meaning
So clear and sometimes cloudy
Depends upon  the joy or sorrow

I drive through that place up the road.
The leaves on the trees
The smell of fallen leaves
And sweet sadness.
I drive down the road and it is endless
Like my thoughts.
That song plays over and over in my head.
I hear it today and it always reminds me
Of sweet sadness.
I smell the fallen leaves.
I open my eyes
And all I see is snow.

Pictures of you in my head
Closed eyes
Open heart.
You penetrate my madness
Of being without you.
Simple things you say
I hear so loudly.
Tell me where you are
Somewhere inside my madness.
Help me find you
So I am sane.

Fly away
Sweet bird.
If you knew the way
Fly away
It all makes sense to set you free
Fly away
Sweet bird.
I won't stand into your way
Fly, fly away
Sweet bird.
Its easy to say
sweet bird of mine
I will always miss you

Your softly spoken words
I have heard before
I have seen beyond those eyes
A million souls I have seen before
Yet I remember you
I can't hide where my heart belongs
Inside our heads
Inside our hearts
Beyond this existence
Into the sun beyond the fog
Out from the time
We once knew each other.

We are sisters as such,
Elbow to elbow,
Knee to knee.
They call her Maddie and Sammie is she.

My eyes are of dark,
And hers are of blue.
Maddies got the brains in her head,
Sam's the one with sand in her shoe.

I am goofy and fearless,
Always ready to shout.
The Sam that I am
Cuz why fit in when you are born to stand out.

I'm 9 and I'm Maddie.
I wonder and think and my thoughts are in tact.
I'm smart and I'm cautious.
But remember  life' s a great balancing act.

Our dads' name is Joe Shmoe
He's a wonderful dad,  this is truer than true.
Cuz there's noone alive
That is youer than you.

You are a figment of my imagination.
Yet I know you.
I've fantasized about your smile, your scent, your touch.
Its pure fascination.

I see you in my dreams at night.
Lights out but bright inside my mind.
Thoughts of you are endless
I battle my restlessness
Until morning daylight.

Would you feel the same excitement?
That passion, that seduction, I feel inside me.
Open your cage door,
To your confinement.

You lay there and dream about that soulmate.
She screams through your mind.
That song you sing in your head.
It sounds so resonate.

The time is here.
I see her across the room in the crowd.
I squash that fear of not knowing
And scream her name aloud.

I am near her, I am afraid.
Is there mutual attraction.
A quick tender kiss
Its instantaneous.
Then I know its mutual satisfaction.

Love is the sweet taste of frosting at the tip of my tongue.
That feeling as a child choosing the perfect cupcake in a plethera of many.
I open my eyes and I feel the sweetness of your lips.

Love is the cream and sugar in my coffee, so smooth.
But smoother to me.
My lover leaves it for me on my nightstand.

Love is the smell of bacon and eggs as I walk into the kitchen in my bed head hair.
You kiss the top of my head.
You make bacon seem ****.

Love is wading in the water in my nakedness.
In the darkness, moon in the sky, and my moon behind me.
I feel your nakedness a foot away from me, behind me, yet we never touch.

Love is the unsaid words in the silence.
Sitting near each other in our silliness or our
Drunkeness
We are intoxicated with each other, yet we shared no wine.

Love is knowing here on earth that every breath I take,
And is exhaled,
you inhale in every pore of your skin.

I close my eyes for deep slumber.
There he appears.
No winged Angel.
He is but real.
Crooked smile.
Eyes on me.
I want to reach out and touch him.
I do.
We kiss, pure bliss.
The sweet taste.
Sweetness.
Can you taste in your sleep?
Pure heaven
I wake up.
I am alone.
He is not there.
My mouth tastes sweet.

Peachy skin
Perfection in every way
So peaceful
No worries
Sudden smiles
Swaddled in his cacoon
His tender breath
Breathing in his infant scent
Innocent and untouched
Unblemished
angelic aura
Melts me
You are wanted
you are loved
simply magic

I am fully clothed,
Yet he undresses me with his thoughts.
Intoxicating thoughts.
I am drunk in it.
He is haunted by my seductive fragrance.
Silence.
Speaking would be too simple.

I would have told you if you asked
Yet you knew all along
My pain that never goes away.
You chose to ignore my pain
that hollowness
You could have filled that void
Yet you blame
I hold no grief.
I Need not explain

I'm pretending to not care.
You sitting beside me
I want to push you over
Who are you there.

Nothing is inside you,
I looked through,
You are just a shell of a man,
I thought I knew

Was it a dream, where did you go,
I hear your voice, I take your call,
It doesn't matter
Matter at all.

I cry a minute
I cry an hour,
My thoughts so sweet,
And then so sour.

I listen to what you have to say
I know, I know
I've heard enough,
Each passing day.

I keep busy,
It hurts a lot,
Each passing minute,
An hour I forgot.

I look around,
Is that from you
It doesn't matter,
Its just a thing I bid ado.

Get out of my life,
Get out of my head,
That face of yours,
Thought I'd never dread.

I use to watch you in bed asleep
You looked so perfect,
Now washed out, faded
I disconnect.

You are s stranger
In my dreams,
Never were before,
It happens a lot it seems.

My tears sting me,
My aging face,
People say I'm young looking,
So full of grace.

I hide behind these pretty clothes,
The makeup,
Hair,
So not to expose.

Tired of hearing time
Heals our pain.
If I listen to them,
What do I gain.

Empty box
empty brain space
free rent in your head
like the last chip in a bag
last drop of milk but enough for your coffee.
looking for just one pen
and finding a whole bunch.

Those wings you wear with feathers,
In the clouds,
Here and fro you go.
You cannot exist here.
I know.
May I go wherever you are.

I feel that cold beneath my feet.
Under the cupboards, under my feet.
In the air, not visible.
Yet I know you are there.
What a comfort.
I smile in my security,
Knowing your presence does not have to be seen,
To be there.

So smooth, your skin. You say.
That lust of  yours.
Do you always get your way.
I say.
I remember that kiss on those lips, so
Warm and yet so chilly.
The thought of the unknown.
They say in the blink of an eye.
May I blink and keep my eyes open, while you keep your eyes closed.

Facade from the front;
So different;
Variation;
Internal and exterior.
How do you hide behind that.
Must be so hard to hold that inside

What is this lace across your face? It robs you of your beauty
A thousand tears upon your face,
A thousand hands across your smile.
Yet all the while I have this smile hidden in a place far away deep within a place you cannot rob inside me.

Each page,
Their beauty.
Inescapable
Impeccable beauty.
Standing the test of time
Some of the innocent.
Some no beauty at all.
Beauty beyond words,
Beyond speech,
Smiling from within or for the camera.
Does she want to be beautiful?
Is it really her.
Who could she be or want to be
If not for the cameras eye to see.

Sunlight on her face,
On her skin,
Surrounds her being,
Like an aura an ethereal presence.
Muted and hazy and effervescent,
Captivating you,
Enticing you,
An angelic vision,
Like a spirit yet so real.
You want to touch her but she is beyond your reach.
Reach out your hand.
Feel the breeze.
The warmth of her breath.
Do you feel it?
Can you feel her?