Today is like any other
Cloudy skies
The rain pours
Trees shift
Traffic slows

Umbrellas are useless

I feel gloomy, misty too
But it’s not the weather

It’s the silence

A piece of my puzzle that is missing

My mother

It’s been nine months

It seems longer
And shorter
Time has no worth

It just is

Like my broken heart

I like the night
with its peacefully drawn black curtains
and stars winking
they speak softly and elegantly
I close my eyes and open my arms to the sky
I feel the earth leave
and I fly

Takes little bites of cheesecake
Feels gentle breezes that stir the leaves on trees
Or God’s gentle hand that moves us on

Sees the skies that are gray
Smiles anyway because it Friday
Sees the begonias bow and say good day

I look to the sunless sky
And realize, I’m OK

To some the rain and clouds cause dismay
But I happen to like the gray
Let spring run its course
For soon we will remorse
About these last cool days in May

I write to…
get out of my head
to rid me of dread
to understand
to be understood

I write…
how I’m feeling
or how I wish I felt
when my words are bad
when they are good

I write and…
it makes perfect sense
or makes no sense at all

I write…
to connect the dots
to find a clue
to get to a better me
to appreciate you

I write...
Because I have to

if i could go back in time
to a place before
your cancer
when all was fine

if i could have another
phone call, or email

another minute of
you saying "hey girlie"

another second of you asking
what was I doing?

i would take them
just to wish you

Happy Birthday