Looking back, from a while ago
Your past may be dulled and the colors somewhat faded
The pain not as sharp
So it's hard to remember what was

So you think and think
About what you thought it was
When your thoughts are only a romanticized version
Of what really was there

Where you saw love
There was actually selfishness and disdain
Where you saw hope
There was an empty abyss
Everything is askew
So you don't know where to begin
You don't know what to believe

I tried so very hard
To turn you into that thing
You said you would turn me into

I turned you into a box
That sits high up in my closet
With only the most valuable things in it
To remember

There are corsages and letters
And that ****** bracelet I can't look at
There are smiley faces
And cards
And quotes all around the sides
To keep me from looking at it
Because it knew I would linger
And go back

Sometimes that box falls off my shelf
Straight into my arms
And I collapse onto the floor
Looking at what was
Contemplating if everything was
Just some lie
A beautiful lie

Together forever isn't really real
Unless you believe in it

When the sun dips from the sky
And the moon begins to gleam
Wipe away your day face
And move yourself closer to me

With your worries now gone
And the sun below the horizon
I can see you more clearly
With my pupils beginning to widen

We sit on that hill for a while
With the chromatic hues of the sky above
Now it's only you and I
To explore this thing we call love

So I look into your eyes, they are always clear
And neat and beautiful
And I lay may head on your chest and draw little hearts with my fingers
While I start to, again, feel whole

I can quite explain, I can't quite describe
How it was you that I found
But some part of myself tells me not to question it
As we sit and watch the sun go down

You're like a drug
And I'm the addict
Trying to break free
From your grasp
But I can't help but trip and fall
Sometimes
When I have a relapse

You break my heart
Every single time
It's okay
I don't mind

Don't look at me
I am actually scared
Scared that you'll see through me
And the face that I've prepared

But I can't help but feel
That I break my own heart
Even believing there's a chance
That you think of me

The well hath run dry
So why do I keep on drilling?
Searching for more emotion
To seep forth
I used to look at you and feel the waterfall of feelings
But now I just look
And inside I feel a desert
An unfeeling tundra
Too numb to sense

I used to hate that silence
That unbearable silence you had over me
But now I live in it
I find solace that maybe no news is better than bad news
I use it to my advantage
Maybe you weren't worth my attention
After all

Because at a certain point
You get sick of remembering
You get nauseous of nostalgia
That is when you can truly move on

I can't help that I'm not graceful
I still can't do a cartwheel
Or maybe I can
I haven't checked in a while

I can't help that I'm not breathtaking
I have never seen my effect on others
I actually never thought about
If he catches his breath when he sees me

I can't help that I get anxious
My feet tap, I start to hyperventilate
But doesn't everyone?
Am I so abnormal?

I can't help being myself
Because if you think about it
Am I really so different
*From everyone else?