I will forever be touched my her entrance to my life
I saw her smile and it reached my heart like a wave to the sand
And I smiled too
I wouldn’t call her simply just my friend
I would call her my life long buddy;
My life long access to the simple things in life
That many forget to appreciate

What she has is not a syndrome, through my eyes
It’s an outlook on life
It's moments of sudden enlightenment
But if you miss it, it's forever gone
In the depths of her being

She will never be like a typical person
And neither will I
Because my life has been changed though her eternally
And without her a piece of my puzzle would be missing
And I would not be the same
Although her life is expected to be short
Although her life is simple
She will always be happy
And she will always remember she has a friend; a life long buddy
And so will I.

He only wore his glasses at night, before bed
I found him sleeping on the cot, in the quietness of the basement
In a room with a clay colored armoire
That I would hide in when we played house.
After everyone was asleep,
I would take an adventure down the stairs
To his new hiding place.
Creeping, tip toeing, watching every step
Dodging lego pieces and plastic food for my kitchen
His glasses were on the night stand
He was sound asleep
But I didn't care
I wanted to see him
I wanted him to tell me everything was okay
I wanted him to explain the mystery of life to me
In his ever so intelligent manner.
I was a stone, cold and frozen
Unable to make my way back up the mountain of stairs
Afraid of an avalanche
The room was lined with white carpet, stained from ice pops and nail polish
Lingering near the armoire, I hoped I would find what I was looking for
The secret treasures that he was protecting in this room, in the darkness of the basement
Maybe it was full of gold from the king
Or perhaps it was filled with magic nobody knew
I could hear creaking from the armoire, almost waking him
But the only thing I could find were his suitcases, one third filled with clothes
one third filled with betrayal, guilt, fear
And now one third filled with my knowledge of his intentions
As he awakes, he is at a loss for his words
Fortunately, I never lost mine.

Coffee and the smell of second hand smoke
A homeless man holding a sign for change
“Spare change?” he says
But changeless, we drive
Nothing; no thoughts invade our minds
Megan plays on the radio; we scream at the top of our lungs
And we feel alive
And our problems fly out the window, we have no sense of time
And the truck rolls over the potholes with ease
Soon it gets dark, light fades through the trees
The bittersweet loss of the sun to the stars
we watch people in the parking lot enter the bars
Toothless man picks weeds from cracks in the sidewalk
Nothing we do or say will make him talk
And then there’s us

A mirror is a perception
A trick of the mind
Try looking in a mirror and saying "I'm ugly"
And surely enough that is what you will see
Tainted looks and lost expression
My nose is too big
I have imperfections, including each and every freckle
I am bossed around by worldly views
Through the eyes of fashion magazines and top model
My thoughts pulse and with each pulse my list of imperfections lengthens
I've gained too much weight
I didn't need that sandwich
I need a hair cut
And a possible nose job
I turn away from the mirror
I look at my hands
I feel my waist
I feel skinny
I feel beautiful
So what is with these false perceptions?
These standards of beauty, only meant for a super human
**** the standards
**** the fliers, the model pictures
**** societies standards of me
Because I don't need them.
I've got mine.

Betrayed by your docile nature
I will push you so far away it will seem as if I am the one disappearing
A dark tunnel arbitrarily chosen by a recognized force
Hitch a ride on a dark blue truck; fading into the distance
Time is inevitable but it flies, making the wheels more like wings
An hour glass figure stands at the end of the road
the closer we get, the less dark the tunnel seems
and soon the tunnel's darkness becomes the light of the world
As I approach the figure it fades into the scenery
Heart racing, I run to catch it
I pass through the field and he hides inside the woods, behind the dandelions
I follow him into an old apartment and he blends into the tearing wallpaper
I disappear into the wall, and reappear
chasing the big blue truck up an abandoned street
I miss it, as it fades into the distance
I realize I have lost track of the figure
And I am left with only myself as the world turns back into darkness.

Spilled beverage
Slowly seeping into the carpet
Over washed dishes linger in the sink
Foam from the sink to the floor in waves of three
touches the bottom of my socks
Puffs of smoke
Absorb inside my lungs
I've been invaded by this drug
I'm weak, I'm worthless I'm out of control
And people will never look at me the same
My insides start to rot
My world is no longer rooted in reality
I enter a land of insecurities
A land where my body separates from my mind
I've lost every ounce of patience
My mind spins, I hit the floor
Trembling, perishing, disappearing
My chest cavity begs for a break
Barely breathing I reach for a hand
A soul bound with calmness and serenity
I attach my body, a mechanism of coping
Because I have lost all connections to myself
Heavy head, spinning trees, time has no more meaning
How many times have I paced around this building?
How long has my body been taken from my soul?
How long until people realize that there is something terribly wrong?
Like i've said there has been all along
A brain tumor
Or a person rotting to the core
A real, living person
Somebody who exists
And is decaying from the inside out
With no escape but waiting
I want to hide
I want to separate these two mixtures; these two sets of self
My body and my mind
They say the body and the mind work together
But for me, I am betrayed by myself

It's sad to know you let me go
I thought for sure you were one in a million
I thought nobody wore their hat the same as you
but man, I was wrong

I thought for sure I loved you
But I loved the idea of you, its true
I will walk down the driveway and never turn back
leaving my thoughts of you at the door
Because i'm not that little girl anymore