Sometimes,
I can feel it...
The in-between.
The middle of what's real,
and what's not.
The moment
when all your desires comes true.
It's the second when it all collides,
like a meteor to the earth-
like the spring to the fall.
It's the moment
when everything's perfect...
Finally
you can feel a longing embrace,
suddenly know what it's like
to see things from a different perspective.
It's the moment
when it all crashes together...
All your wants and desires
finally
meet in the middle
with reality-
the moment when you wake up breathing-
heart pounding,
body sweating...
A moment when you question
what's real
and what isn't.
It's the moment in your life
when everything is silent-
But it all makes sense,
The moment when you realize-
it was only a dream
But it was perfect...

If only we could live
the in-between
The moment when we're not afraid to fly
or
love the person we are quiet about...
It's the moment when you survive the fall
to realize it didn't **** you, anyway.
All of this happens
In a moment when it all comes together-
A moment of perfect collision,
It was just a dream.

I've died from cancer
at least three times
Convincing myself that I was so sick
without a single diagnoses
based on half conscious google readings
symptom checkers,
and of course
the way I was really feeling.

I've actually mourned my own life,
planned it out,
dreamt about it in the midst of a nightmare
imagined what everyone would do without me-

I thought about how beautiful
a slow goodbye would be,
I've convinced myself I felt bad
on days that I had a chance to feel good
And now I live the in between
In hopes to rid myself of this torture.
.
this is my sickness-
believing that I can die more than once
and ruining my life over the fact that
we do
indeed
disappear
from
our
physical
bodies.

I can write a thousand words
And can't get the point across-
It's almost impossible
to keep up with my thoughts
of you.

through time he travels
leaving the past unraveled
into the layers
between darkness and light
grasping for anything
that may feel right

he's trapped between what was
and what soon will be
he hopes for someone
to open up and see
that no matter how present he may seem
no matter how beautiful a dream
he's a time traveler
and to him,
nothing is how it seems.

Sad it is;
that sometimes,
The hardest thing you'll ever do-
Is the best thing you had ever done.

It's true...
I divide myself
into teeny tiny pieces,
leaving behind
important bits-
that
cause a glitch
with the rhythm
of my heart.

Wish
       Wash
Clash

Wish
       Wash
Clash

I
    Left
A
    Part
Of
       Myself
At
The
    Laundry
         Mat.