Kalel: Favorites

Dec 2013 Kalel

Amanda In Scarlet

When I was around nine or so my Father looked at me in disgust,
And said in a loud voice
"There are rolls of fat on her legs,
I've never heard of that before."
Poor Daddy wanted a perfect daughter,
And got a chubby social misfit with argumentative tendencies,
Combined with a complete disregard for anything as inconvenient as reality.
I wouldn't have chosen an alcoholic sociopath for a father, either,
So, hey, we're sort of even.
I have my father's temper, which disgusts me,
More than my legs disgusted him, I'll bet.
He knows that I don't like him,
I've never been able to please him, or impress him,
And I've never understood what made him so angry,
I'm angry, too, a lot of the time, but I would never look at my daughters with horror and scorn,
And coldly evaluate their physical shortcomings.
Everything about them is beautiful, everything.
What an *******,
Wish I didn't love him, so.

Dec 2013 Kalel

Finally Sure

Dec 2013 Kalel

Amanda In Scarlet

Finally Sure

I did not choose to love you.

I am never sure of anything.
I have questioned and agonized, second guessed
Every aspect of my life
For thirty seven years.
And now I am sure of something
It is an impossible thing
And it shreds me, from within.

We do not choose who we love.

Everything I ever believed
Was a misunderstanding of the true nature
Of all that we aspire to.
Thirty seven years
And I knew nothing.
I am on autopilot, every atom reaching out
Every thirsty cell screaming for a drink of you.

I think you love me, too.

Dec 2013 Kalel

eff robots; i dig heartbeats

Dec 2013 Kalel

b for short

eff robots; i dig heartbeats

Some things cannot be helped:
natural disasters,
"that time of the month"
(which is widely considered a natural disaster),
chocolate cravings,
sleeping,
going to the bathroom,
flatulence,
cracking joints,
growing old,
being young,
body hair,
and

feelings.

Mostly feelings.

We're human.
They're allowed.
Have some, won't you?

Nov 2013 Kalel

"Maybes" and "What Ifs"

Nov 2013 Kalel

Andrew Durst

"Maybes" and "What Ifs"

She took my hands and placed them on her hips,
Then smiled at me as I craved for her lips.
My palms were sweaty and I started losing grip,
My vision started getting blurry and I almost tripped,
But something was keeping my composure,
And now that I think about it, I probably should have told her.

Because

I swear to god she was the one who saved me,
But when I think about her, it drives me crazy.
Because the moment passed and she had to leave,
Just as I noticed the cuts under her sleeves.
I didn't ask why,
And even if I wanted to, I didn't have time.
I understand what it's like to try and cope,
Feeling weak in a world so "cut-throat."

Maybe I feel like I should return the favor,
To be the one who is her savior.
But that's all on the list
Of maybes and "what-ifs."

Truthfully I don't know,
And for now I should stay on my toes,

At least until the day comes when I see her again,
And not let go of what could had been.

Just a free-verse.