kaitlyn

kaitlyn Dec 2013

this is dedicated to
all those broken dreams
all those annoying little things
all those empty apologies.

all those lies you told
all the promises that were broken
all the words you wrote in bold
all the words that are unspoken

all those times you made me cry
all those times that made me want to die
all those times you showed me off
as if i was something people would make you proud of.

all those times you made me believe you
all those words you said to help guide you
all those things that helped remind you
all those reasons i was kind to you

all those days you made me smile
the minutes that you tried to make worthwhile
and the worst...
the seconds it took for you to put the
pieces of my heart in that pile

all the words you made me speak
all the promises you couldn't keep
all the secrets you wouldn't let slip
all the times you let me trip

all the crap you put me through
all the things you said to them, too
for all these reasons
i dedicate this poem to you.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

deal of harm

the blood poured from her skin
but she never screamed in pain
her cuts always burned and itched
but she never did complain

every other injury
she'd sit and whine about
but she'd never cry out
the hurt she put upon herself

she wanted to live a normal life
but the monsters had a better idea
they manipulated her
then she made them a deal

"i'll hurt myself, you devils,"
she promised to the demons
but they raised it so many levels

now the girl is broken
she is ****** up and scarred
but what can she do now?
she never knew it would be this hard.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

bad again

im not sure
what to do,
nor how to
do it.

everyone is telling
me that i don't
want to die,
but if only they
knew how much
i tried and cried.

maybe they'd understand.

that im just a
****** up piece
of ****,
wanting to be
left alone to die.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

☀

im at a loss for words,
a silent mouth.
nothing but sighs
find their way out.

speechless lounge,
no noises come through
im at a loss for words
but then there's you
you come along with
words of your own.

and you sing as if
the words are songs
sometimes it's short,
sometimes it's long.

you tell me that
my words are safe
im amazed by your
saving grace.

my mouth is still quiet
no words to waste
but you kept trying
again and again.

trying to gain
the space of a friend
you became more than that
in the end.

but sometimes i'm still
lost for words,
every now and then.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

*

my stomach is a tumbleweed
and my tongue is desert dry.
you are a wellspring
and yet only a mirage.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

shh.

shh, the voices are speaking again
shh, i wish to listen to them
shh, they may be giving advice
shh, this time they are saying
i should rid you all.

shh, that it's okay
to watch you fall.

shh, into the fiery reigns of Hell.
shh, not only must you go
shh, but i am to assist you on
your journey.

so the voices know you are;
where you are meant to spend all **eternity.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

guardian

as long as i'm here
over your shoulder
i will lift off your chest
that heavy crushing boulder.

when i am here
you will feel no remorse
i will help you
when life takes its course.

i will be your guardian
watching from afar
ready to push you away
from a speeding car.

it is not one of my chores
to save your soul
i will do it again
without being told.

you do not have to thank me
for i am the blessed one
to be the final one with you
when the air forever
leaves your lungs
never to return.