kaitlyn

kaitlyn Dec 2013

☯

you stay up all night
trying to convince
that stranger over
the internet
across the seas,
or maybe even your
best friend across the street,
not to hurt themselves or
die tonight.
but they never question
if you're alright
so once you convince them not
to cut or commit suicide
you're back in your room
questioning your own life.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

neverland.

dreaming of the day
when i could be me
and you could be you
i'd love myself
and be happy, too.
my wrists would be clear
and so would my mind.
you would start eating
as you used too.
and maybe your under eyes
wouldn't be so blue.
but until that day comes
when we're hand in hand
i'll be dreaming of a place
called Neverland.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

flame of life.

the kiss of a candle,

against my finger.

the scrape of a finger,

against my wrist.

the wings of a butterfly

brush my face.

the blue of the sky

that pierces my eyes.

hot world.

cold world.

painful world.

gentle world.

world that won't stop.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

why are you doing this?

you approach me
an indescribable gaze.
your eyes are not on me
they are focused somewhere else.
one of your fists clenched,
the other holds a blade.
you slowly lift the blade
the edge upon your forearm.
you move the blade,
creating a thin line.
the line quickly overflows with blood,
i stare dumbfounded.
why are you doing this?
you're hurting yourself!
you press the blade harder
you cut deeper.
why are you doing this?
there is so much blood
you are sti looking at your arm.
your cut up, bleeding arm.
my anger flares,
my body shakes.
why are you doing this?
"i dont know," i whispered.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

the emotions.

the anger built inside me
that no one ever sees.
it's the speck of sand beside the sea
a single leaf among the trees.

the loneliness taking me
that no one understands.
surrounded by all this fakeness
no true love, just one night stands.

the pain slowly killing me
that no one ever feels.
new wounds bleed and old scars ache,
marks that'll never heal.

the sorrow consuming me
that no one can ever sense.
tear stains upon a sheet,
two hands destined to never meet.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

+

i think sometimes we get too caught up in our minds.

we get trapped in our own prisons.

we guard them ourselves.

we know how to get out and

where the key is,

yet we chose not to

because sometimes this suffering is better than reality.

kaitlyn Dec 2013

one day.

One day
you're going to stop hating
who you are.

One day
you will stop worrying
about scars.

One day
you'll stop drinking
at the bar.

And one day
you will see
being you
is all you had to be.