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Kaitlin Collide Apr 2014
You hurt me
I want to **** myself
I want to hurt myself
But I wont

I will run harder
Run faster
Worker Harder
Fight through this

This hurts
But I'll burn you like fuel
This hurts
But you're a ******* fool

This is getting too emotional for me?
I'm not going to ignore the fact
that you might be getting emotional too

Tonight I cry
Someday we'll die
Tonight I pry
But you're just some guy

I've got friends, I've got family
And there's no way I'm the only
Girl who's crying in State College
Over a freaking stepping stone
Kaitlin Collide Mar 2014
I don't think that I love you,
But I think you're the one.
I think that I'll love you
****, don't jump the gun
Shut up
Shut up.
SHUT UP.
Just chill.

3/20/14, 3:04 AM
Kaitlin Collide Feb 2014
Stumbled into hell
Was willing to do anything
to find my way out
Even if that meant
sleeping around
Just didn't
want my *** burned
Now my lesson is learned
My lesions were earned
Kaitlin Collide Feb 2014
"Don't be depressed if you don't make."
"Don't be surprised if it's not as fun as you expected."
"Don't be mad if you don't get it."
"It's very hard for anyone to be successful in that kind of thing."

So life goes on and I don't bother trying to make it,
I'm not enthusiastic about it being fun at all
I don't try for jobs, that way I won't get them
Success is difficult, so why give it a shot?

There's so many thing I wanted to try
But I feel it might be outlandish
So I just remain here paralyzed
My ambitions break on site, and I can't stand it.

I want to be a lawyer, but they're not making money
I want to try comedy, but what's the point
I want to travel the world, but so did so many others
Take singing lessons, but my signings annoying.

I want good grades, but somethings holding me back
I want ambition but that's something I lack
I want to have that mindset but it's been offset
Please someone give my dream-chasing back

I should be studying, But the tests are really tough!
and my grades have shown I've failed much before
I want to pick myself up, and brush myself off
I'm more comfortable sitting on than falling to the floor

2/5/13, 6:35 pm
Kaitlin Collide Feb 2014
Poetry is that flutter in your heart
Poetry is when you finally get a start
Poetry is...... child birth
Poetry is your search for self-worth
Poetry is concrete, and the cracks within it
Poetry is what the DJ is spinning
Poetry revolutionary or cliche
Poetry is experienced day by day
Poetry is my scuffed up wood floor
Poetry it the newly-cleaned **** on my door
Poetry is the meeting, the breakup, and anticipation
Poetry is the person, the feeling, and the situation
Poetry is worked on, poetry is rushed
Poetry is neat, or grammar that's ****** up
Poetry is new or heard before
A million different ways, or possibly more
Poetry is heaven, poetry is hell
Poetry is nouns and symbols

Is poetry the words, the rhythms, or the feelings?
Or is it the process of personal heeling?
Poetry is all, poetry is a blanket
Poets are poetry and I'd like to thank them
For true poets know it's not a competition of words
But an embrace of the the different layers of worlds
that exist within one conscious being
and the makeup of things whether suppressive or freeing
or the concrete unemotional state of a thing
But even to a poet that leaves a ring
whether emotionally, or within the lack-of
(see concrete vs. crack, written above)
I don't know why I struggle so hard with writing right
because in the end it's not black or white
Instead poetry just IS with it's existence
It's up to you if it's poetry or if it isn't
A poem may be tacky, but that could be the twist
Poetry isn't vague, just has it's own way to exist
Shout-out to "Hello Poetry", we, poets stand united
It's a state of poetry whether or not you write it.
Kaitlin Collide Feb 2014
I'm waiting I'm waiting on my mania stages
so I can overflow with feelings and pour them on pages
Right now it's so forced, I feel ashamed
stagnant contentment isn't doing it for me

2/4/14
Kaitlin Collide Jan 2014
I want to explain my journal entries
They will not be inspired at all
rather they will be candid thoughts at that moment
that I will let freely fall
So please excuse me if these will not be well structured
But sometimes I just want to write is all

And maybe I need some kind of release
not just when I'm about to explode
Welcome to my journal entries
The style will vary as I go
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