I will not use guilt to make you stay.
Never will I ever.

But we are tides now,
crashing against each other,
breaking each other's hearts.

The rock between us is Alaska,
the rock that breaks the wave.

We are discreet in the world.
Familiar with each other.

The truths laced under the lies,
but I don't know which is which-

stained cloth over my head,
i work to forget.

but here i am,
procrastinating

under the bright light.

my life has been a giant knot,

i'm trying to untangle it,
to figure it out.

the more i twist and pull,
the more caught up i am
in my own lies.

what is your biggest fear?

whisper it in my ear,
so that no one hears.

i'll melt them all away,
with my sunshine tips
of my blossom hands.

i'll keep you warm during the coldest nights,
keep you company in your fearful times.

i'll be the place you call home.

my personality may look dark,
but trust me,
i am as fluffy as the clouds watching you.

what is my phobia, you ask?

i'm afraid of being the type of person i hate.
that would make me the biggest hypocrite in all-time hypocrisy.

but sometimes i feel the meanness
in my dark blood

i hate those who are judgmental and narcissistic.
what if i am one of them?

i hate so passionately,
brightly,
that i may be judgmental too.

what if i'm stuck in a maze of my own suffering
that i do not realize that the door
is in another's maze?

i fear.

yes,
we fear.

but we will get over them together.
let's be strong.

who knew the world was like this?
full of evil and brokenness?

love is much deeper than we sought to be,
there is more evil around us than we thought.

the children are so innocent
of what's to come

their valves wouldn't break
but their minds would.

their heart would keep thump,                                      
thump           ­           
thumping

but-

what about their innocence?
one day,
they would fall in love

and the passion would bring them so high,

trusting the other so much that,

when they let go,

they would

f       
a    
l  
l.

and it would hurt like crazy, because they didnt know-
that the world was like this.

to them,
love is sweet,
is constant sweet,
was sweet.

but it is rancour, filling us with evil and hate,
and the children,
once innocent,

would become one of us.

you and i,
we meet under the stars

our passion for each other
burning as passionately as the stars

we meet with chapped lips,
the cold air ****** out

we burn despite the cold
we musn't stay warm.

i don't know how long the fire will last
you've rekindled me but now i'm afraid

i don't know how this will end
will this be a tragedy also?

you watch me struggle in the distance,
i've told you everything about my past

but you'll end up leaving like everyone else
so this time i'm not going to hold on as tight

i don't know how this will end
maybe i will just leave

if i leave before you do
that wouldn't hurt for me,

right?

ohh,
my heart is like my chapped lips

cracked and deprived of precipitation

i think the aridness is going to drive me wild
my mind has become a desert

blowing in the emptiness,
the cold of the nights

ohh,
my heart is like my chapped lips

broken like ceramics

you have the chance to fix it,
but you have a bigger chance to break what's left over of me

i think i'll just cover up my insanity
with some chapstick on my lips

so no one sees my thoughts
that come from below and up above

im so tired of all this ****
the pain just wont go away

it kinda builds up like sediment
caking my heart with impurity
the heartbreak just wont go away

i wish it could go away

because i feel like....
i dont feel anymore.

i dont want to,
but it *****.

i kinda want to,
but that ***** too.

the emptiness is making me cold.

i shiver, but no one's there.

cuz i wave them away.

i've made myself alone....

and im crying about it.

i can forsee the future,
and it *****.

i know that its coming,
that it's leaving.....

im kinda ill from the feels i have
from the blood my heart pumps

im kinda ill from the thoughts i have
the thoughts of my mind, my heart

im kinda sick
of this same old process

that just goes on and on and on

a part of me wants to stop
a part of me wants to believe
that you are the one

even though experience has taught me the other

im tired of this way of love
sometimes i just want to stop

im so tired from the life i choose
can't i just let it loose

for a single moment
back to purity

im so emotionally tired of this pain
i dont want to love anymore

cuz it ends up the same way everytime
the same sick old way

i just want to stop caring
call me a psychopath if you wish

i just dont care anymore

call me a psychopath if you wish

i just want to be emotionless
it would be so carefree

i want to live without a care
free me from this web of tears

squeeze out the last tears
from my empty soul

you will see the black emptiness

spilling over the edges

my ship travels
around the world

exploring new places

my ship anchors
itself to places i like

i anchor my mind,
my soul,
my thoughts-
to the land i am devoted to

sometimes the land will stay faithful,
sometimes it won't;

sometimes the land sinks
loses its grip

sometimes i float away
by the force of the
currents

sometimes i drift
loosen myself a bit

because the land has lost itself.

i am a tree,
peaceful,
zen;

i grow in places
and spread my roots deep down

sometimes i loosen my roots
because the soil isn't fertile enough

sometimes the soil
loses its topsoil

leaving me unprotected

sometimes i am a moon
wishing to be alone

allowing myself to be enveloped by darkness

being absent from reality,
for once;