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Kairee F Nov 2011
Absolutely,
Positively,
Empty,
Meaningless,
Drunken
(or sober),
Futile,
Instinctive,
Faux-passionate
***
Will never satisfy
Past the animal moment
(if it satisfies at all).

I hope that you
See my reflection,
Sense my breath on your neck,
Taste the flavor of my skin,
And feel the sting of the tears the angels cry
Every time that you lock lips with another
Faceless
*****.
Kairee F Nov 2011
A few paces away,
Through the pasty blue door,
I can hear it,
The tune,
A beat,
The music.
Funny how something I admire most
Is precisely what brought the downfall.
And as I listen, the suppression subsides,
The memories rise,
Your breath on my cheek.
Quell it.
Content when I lock and bury
The precious box of treasure.
Kairee F Nov 2011
Why?
Because I don’t want to.
That’s not good enough.
Stop.
Oh, come on.* (with an innocent smirk.)
I don’t want…

Grab,
Push,
Pull,
Force.

Practically no decision.

Fake,
False,
Phony,
Forged.

An evil touch,
Sickened chills,
Scar after shredded scar.

*What’s your problem?
Why are you crying?
Stop being such a *****.
Kairee F Oct 2011
There they sat
On the weathered bench outside of the church,
Waiting,
Talking.
A hand lightly brushed against her shoulder,
And she felt chills down her spine.
He gently looked into her eyes
And smiled.
And that was the moment he saw her,
That was the moment he found her.

There she sat,
Glancing to where she thought she should be,
The reason why she was there.
From the opposite direction came an overwhelming light
Onto what she gave up,
And there he was still standing.
The arms wrapped around her
And lifted her up,
And she felt chills down her spine.
And that was the moment he saw her,
That was the moment he found her.

There she sat,
Alone on the stairs
After running away from the overdone breakdown.
Tears of guilt,
Sick of being blamed.
She heard him searching,
Calling her name,
But she didn’t utter a word,
Just waiting,
Wanting him to find her,
Longing for him to make it there.
He paced into the hallway and turned to her,
Disfigured faced converting to relief.
He kissed her forehead
And tenderly held her head in his hands,
Gazing deep into her eyes,
Promising no more pain,
And she felt chills down her spine,
More than ever before.
And that was the moment he saw her,
That was the moment he found her.

Here she sits,
A day like any other,
Pressing forward,
Fighting for reasons of which are unsure,
Day in, day out,
Unending.
Silly girl,
Stop getting found,
First you must find yourself.
Kairee F Oct 2011
Note to self:

Get up.
Get the **** up
Off your sorry, beaten ***,
And stop being pathetic.

And know that trust is a lie.
No one tells the truth anymore.
No one knows anyone.
Best friends and lovers?
It's all an illusion.
Reality screams that
Trust is game.
Who can fool who?

And the one who is always there for you?
Always makes you feel like ****, right?
Just get the **** up.
And fix yourself.

You ******* up
Because your mind was clouded and hazy with care.
You somehow found logic in the illogical.
But you can't go back.
So get the **** up.

We all victimize ourselves
And pour the blame on others.
We all ignore the things that we do,
Both to ourselves and to those around us.
We don't even see ourselves because we're too busy
Finding flaws
In our friends,
In our enemies,
And then we can feel okay about who we've become.

Well, get the **** up,
And look into a mirror.
You did this to yourself.
Now fix it.
You're better than this.

Sincerely,
Yourself.



Get up, my friends,
And take a whiff of the big, fat "*******"
Freshly painted on my forehead.
Kairee F Oct 2011
Funny
How the lies never end.

Funny
How I'm supposed to walk away,
But I refuse to.

Funny
How I'll always be here for you.

Funny
How I ******* up out of care.

Funny
How I'm always the girl who's fallen for,
Promised forever,
And dumped for a life of empty encounters.

Funny
How, at this rate,
Your future will be that of your hero's.

Funny
How your hero is hollow and unhappy.

Funny
How I'm crucified every time I love.

Funny
How I'm you a year ago.

Funny
How you're him a year ago.
The "him" that you hated for what he did,
What you do.

Funny
How I don't believe this is you.

Funny
How I'm supposedly a ******.

Funny
How you forget the way you were with me.

Funny
How how no one stops you
Because they live it right beside you,
While the rest slowly stop caring.

Funny
How I don't stop.

Funny
How numbing emotions is a better option than living.

Funny
How my heart will always ache
For knowing that you are better.

Funny
How I'm not laughing.

Funny
How it never ends.
Kairee F Oct 2011
Wake up.
It’s only a dream.
That’s only the fear raging through your veins,
But fighting it can bring a ghost to life.

Wake up.
It’s a nightmare.
Deep down you must know
That you made the simple so difficult,
As did I.

Wake up.
Open your eyes from this frozen, lifeless slumber.
Remove your glasses of tenacity,
And I’ll let my guard down.
Trust me with your heart,
And I’ll save you from yourself.

Wake up.
Let me in,
And I’ll shine the light back down
To keep you from drowning in your own ocean of poison.
Give me your hand,
And I will grasp it with my life to pull you ashore.
Because we’re both fools if we let this crash
Push us apart and change us for the worse.

Wake up.
I’m standing right in front of you.
I will not stagger.
I will not sway.
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