I've come to learn
That when we gain strength,
We end up feeling weaker,
Because no longer are we leaning on the power of other people and things,
But we fight -
And we stand -
Completely alone.

The trick is whether this is good or bad.

Your repeated stabs
Bled bullets of blood,
But the beating won’t bring me
To my battered ending.

Never have I felt so broken,
So worthless,
Than when you gave up
All those years ago.
But I moved on.
And if I could erase it,
All that would stop me is that fact that it led to him.

Despite the ending,
I would walk through the fires of hell
On pins and needles
For that boy,
For he was my best made decision.

Breathing life into me,
He taught me I am treasured,
He gave me the courage to stand up for my life,
Defeating your still relentless attempts at tearing it away.
And I can now breathe on my own.

I used to think I knew what love was,
But I never truly loved until he swept me off of my feet,
And I have yet to let him put me down,
Though he’s let me go.

I finally thought our friendship
Reached a strength that I didn’t know it could,
But you never cease to disappoint,
And I’ve gotten so used to this
That you’ve finally succeeded
At getting me to care less.

Congratulations on being the one figure in my life
To continuously bring me to tears,
And make me feel no better than
The smeared shell of the creature
That you’ve walked all over.

I finally found my fight.
I’m done being disposable.
You’ve thrown me away for the last time.

With great regret,
With great remorse,
I can honestly say
That had I known we’d end up strangers,
I never would have let the words “I can’t”
Escape my lips.

They each have their own vision.
Each lie acts an incision,
A mold into division.
They like to think they know her.

They’ve all made the decision
To bombard her with provisions,
But to her it’s just collision,
And it simply only slows her.

They like to think they know,
But on them rains down the joke,
Cause how can someone know a girl
Who’s lost sight of her own stroke
In time, continuing to choke.

I’ve heard it said that we must all
Walk to the beat of our own drum,
But what do you do when who you are
Is better than who you’ve become?

I was there
When you first took in,
The very breath of life
But you didn’t know me.

I was there
As you grew,
But we never became friends.

I was there
When there was death,
But you stayed away.

I was there
When you had your heart shred,
But you didn’t know it.

I was there
When you fell in love
With the melody and its maker,
But you never saw me.

I was there
When you died completely
On the inside,
But you stayed cold.

I was there
When you tried to disappear,
But you hated me for not letting you.

I was there
When you loved
And when you came to life,
But you lost sight of me.

I was there
When you poisoned yourself,
But you didn’t care.

I was there
In the darkness,
But your eyes never caught my light.

I am here
Giving you every day,
Every moment.
But you’ve never seen me.

I’ve always been by your side,
And I will never leave it.
If I exist, that is.

I am here.
Where are you?

For three or four minutes
I feel again.

For three or four minutes
The anger subsides.

For three or four minutes
I believe once more.

For three or four minutes
A melody
Or lyric
Brings comfort.

For three or for minutes
Everything is okay.

For three or four minutes
I am understood.

For three or four minutes,
I am not alone.

This is music.
This is power.
All I am
In three or four minutes.

Open my eyes,
Cover my ears,
The berating buzz of the alarm sounds.
Catch hold of my breath
As my soul disappears,
Relentless and futile my heart pounds.

Attack me or choose me,
Love me, abuse me,
Lie, cheat, love –
“Sorry.”
Sorry.
Bruise me.
I just gave up on being strong.

Today is a copy of the humdrum preceding.
Tomorrow the stubborn replay still holds
This worthless,
Pointless
Life with no meaning.
Alone in the silence,
The secret untold.

I dare you all to shake me up,
To break me,
To shatter,
To stab me,
To blame.
The effort won’t breach this wall I’ve built,
The three new cravings,
The mask I now feign.

Fifth of *****,
Full bottle of pills,
Painkillers left would surely fulfill
A desire to feel,
A need to forget,
A wish to lose who I am,
Or will it?

A knife in the drawer.
A glistening blade
I long to drag across my beige, freckled skin,
Deep into my unfeeling flesh,
A thrilling pain,
Patience worn thin.

I finally gave up on being strong,
But I know myself all too well.
I care so much,
I hope so much,
I love so much,
So **** it to hell.

Now the first thing that I shall seek?
I’m giving up on being weak.