She lay there
She lay in the middle of the tracks
and she waited for death to tear her last breath from her
She listened as the train drew near her
waiting for it to throw her body into the abyss
She watched it come closer
waiting for her dream to become reality
and all the while she had no idea what she was doing

Everyday I get sicker
I breathe a little less,
I cry a little more

Everyday I get numb-er
I sleep a little less,
I ache a little more

Everyday I get sadder, I get angrier, I get tugged and dragged through the emotional parade we call life
I watch the girls scowl at each other
I watch the boys throw a punch
And I think to myself
What a wonderful world it must be
For the blissfully ignorant beings surrounding me.

The irony in suicide
is that
it often happens to the one
who always seemed to be smiling.

Dear Abby,
I'm sorry we lost touch. I'm sorry you were sad. I'm sorry you felt the need to end your life.

I didn't want to know how you did it, because then it would be too real.
I know we weren't in each others lives anymore, but know that you have impacted me all the same. I care and have love for you. You were beautiful and so kind.

I wish you didn't jump. I wish you knew how much you were loved. I'm sorry Abby. I'm sorry. Rest in peace.

Life is getting harder
The kids are getting meaner
The jokes are getting crueller
And it's getting hard to brush off*

My name appears on bathroom stalls,
facebook walls,
and most of all
voices in the halls

People glare,
Girls stare,
All the boys are aware
Privacy has gotten rare

They say it's gone to my head
But they won't listen to what I've said
It's not the school that I dread
But the people who have read

The people who think they know me
to a tee
think they all agree
that a ***** is all they see

They think I care
About their hair
And who they kiss
That their downfall is my bliss

I wish they knew
It isn't true
I don't care about who dates who

I couldn't care
About what they wear
And I wouldn't judge
Based on a grudge

I would never hope that they would fail
or that their life becomes derailed
I smile not because I'm fake
But because being unkind is life's greatest mistake

So no I'm not the high school witch
I'm not queen B,  biggest *****
I'm just a girl trying to get by
Wishing I got a shot to answer why

Sad poor bird
flapping wings of its sin
holding back from the furred
to protect its kin

Nest of leaves
missing twigs from nighttime deeds
keeping all that she believes
where she hides her extra seeds

Fly down south
To run away from her life
and she closes her mouth
to try to stray from the knife

Sad poor bird
flapping wings of its sin
holding back from the furred
to protect its kin

Today I was at school
Writing the date
March 5 2015
But I continued to write
March 5 2006
Because
9 years ago today
You died.
My 14 year old brother
Died.
A 7 year olds life flipped upside down
And had to learn to smile
Had to learn to lie
Because friends kept apologizing
Because family kept crying
Because teachers kept quiet
Because therapists kept questioning
Because all I wanted was to hug you
And all I want 9 years later is to hug you


Come back