Elise

Elise Feb 2015

I didn't know
That you were the smile on my face
And the colour in my cheeks
I didn't know
That you were my laughter
And my excitement
I didn't know
That you were the reason I never kiss anyone
And that I was waiting for you to come home
And today
When I saw you with her
When it became real
When I realized you don't love me
I know

*And it's too late

Elise Feb 2015

No longer yours

I am constantly told that you are talking to a thousand other girls
And you can
I am no longer yours
I am constantly told you still love me
And you can
I am constantly told you are telling other girls that you also love them
And you can't
Because I know you love me
I know they hold no place in your heart besides to fill the empty void I left
I know.
I know because you charm them
I know because you smile and laugh with them
I know because you sleep with them
And with me
You cannot make eye contact
But I always see you staring
You cannot talk to me
But you tell others about me
You cannot kiss me
But I see your desire
I know you love me
I'm sorry I couldn't love you

Elise Feb 2015

Ignorant.

Ignorance is bliss,
and I am not ignorant
not in any sense.
I have seen,heard,felt,tasted, and smelled
death and despair.
I have grasped on to desperation
and I have fallen in love with grief
I know and understand tragedy
I know and understand pain
anxiety, depression and disappointment.
I am too kind
and I am too trusting
but I am not ignorant.

And ignorance is bliss.

The other day some friends argued with me about mental illness...the glamourization and the special treatment people receive. They believed that mental illness could not affect your ability to function and work. I have never felt so disappointed in anyone's ignorance

Elise Jan 2015

Black

One shot of *****
...for the girl who told me I was stupid when I was 6 and again at 16

Two shots of whiskey
...for my brother who left me for Heaven when I was 7

Three shots of gin
...for my best friend who moved countries when I needed her most

Four shots of tequila
...for my parents who never loved each other

Five shots of brandy
...for my daddy's suicide attempts, and all the times he blamed me

Six shots of ***
...for the boy who took any ounce of love I had left for myself

*Black.

Elise Dec 2014

Heartache

Eyes fall limp
Heart sinks low

Mind so high
Body so worn

Numb and broken
Cheap,torn and unwoven

Nausea
Migraine
Fever

Ill

Because of you.

Elise Nov 2014

Sick

Symptoms:
My eyes are open
But they don't see colour
My ears are listening
But they can't hear music
My nose is breathing
But it inhales nothing
My mouth is chewing
But there's no taste
My hands are touching
But they feel no one
My mind is thinking
But there's no happy thoughts
My heart is beating
But is it worth it?

-k.m

Elise Nov 2014

Confession #467

Don't ever fall in love with someone like me
I'll make you feel important and let you think you're everything I need you to be
I'll kiss you first and I'll hold your hand
And I promise every time you look into my eyes , you'll believe you're my only man

But I'll break your heart quickly
I'll lead you on
Because as much as I want to love you
I'll never move on