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 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
brooke
Serena.
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
brooke
I was mad because
everything was changing
and the surprise took me by
surprise if that makes any
sense and I was mad that
we didn't seem as close or
that I didn't seem close
with anyone except for
Chris (and we're not
even close anymore
in any aspect of the
word.) But I guess I'm
just trying to say I'm
sorry. Because all it
looked like to you
was a closed door
and to me it was
so much
more.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
brooke
out of no where this morning,
I remembered the scars on your
stomach and wondered how on
earth you made it through your
earlier years when they tied the
tubes up in your chest.

Chaz said something like, "she said
he had this weird thing about that."

and I still felt the inherent need to
defend you. No, he never did
You were much softer around
me, a closed wardrobe that
slowly creaked open, maybe
I pried at first, but you
did.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
Pluto
but,
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
Pluto
you're so ******* beautiful
(but you're so unbelievably oblivious)

it's because:
you'll never see the way your eyes glitter when you laugh
or the way your hair seems to sparkle in the sun
or the blood pumping in your heart
and the breath flowing in and out of your lungs

you're beautiful all over and around

**but you cut yourself up to let some beauty out
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
brooke
Swapping emotions
like jenga blocks, setting
them on top, aside for later
I'm good at trading one feeling
for whatever suits me best, makes
me a bit guilty for ignoring the
issue at hand. Unless it's really
gone? I never quite know when
things are really gone.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
Maria
And for a couple moments there, we marveled at each other

But once you spoke of us in past tense, I wanted to forget to miss you again

I know that everything just got a bit too complicated
I do that sometimes, even though I never meant to

I know that good people hurt other good people
We do that sometimes, even if we never meant to

There are days when the air gets too heavy again
There are days when my favorite songs get sad again
But we all get a little bit broken sometimes
And sometimes its good to learn to stand on our own

   Even though its lonely

                                              
                 ­                               Even if it hurts




                                                      ­                                                                 ­         **a lot.
I never cried as much as I did that night, I didn't know a poem could rattle my chest the way it did.
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
hkr
i wish i were
awake enough
to live my life.
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
willa ivy
how is it possible
to feel so minuscule and insignificant
that it would be impossible
for people to see me,
even through the strongest
magnifying glass,

but at the same time,

feel so large and overbearing,
as if i take up entirely too much space
and cannot stay out of
anyone's way?
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
brooke
Closure.
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
brooke
You said thanks for
the closure and I
tried to hide how
wide my eyes got
all this time and
I was hoping maybe
maybe? maybe? maybe
what? Maybe, maybe.
What was I hoping
for?
(c) Brooke Otto 2013

one thing to the next.
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
brooke
Coolant.
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
brooke
Gaudy necklace still
beneath my pajama shirt,
they talked about things
till three am but i still
woke up at nine and
ate trail mix on the couch,
thinking about how nothing ever
goes the way i want it
too and how badly i just wanted to
kiss someone when the space needle
erupted into a silver sparkle and
brought the new year.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
 Jan 2014 Kai Rivers
brooke
in the shower i stare at my fingernails
thinking that soon I will be in the plane
on my way home and the entire day will
have passed and I will never get it back.
The water is warm and I wonder if this is
how I time travel, by merely thinking of
the future. I tell myself I must appreciate
every moment or otherwise not think of
such things, but within seconds I am
hours away from that shower, then
suddenly on a plane, and soon I will be
in my bed wondering if this week even
happened or if i am just dreaming.
traveling. Only
Remembering.
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
Seattle Poem 1/2/14
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