We lay in a bed
Hopefully surrounded by those we love
By those who love us
We close our eyes
We breathe in
But not out
What comes next?
Darkness?
A skeletal hand guiding us?
A scale?
Perhaps a boat rowing us over the river Styx
Or maybe, it’s another life
Whatever it is
I’m ready to take that leap
But not quite yet

Like Atlas, the sky rests on my shoulders
I’m told that I don’t have to bear the weight
But who else is there to talk to her
We have other friends, yes
But none of them have helped take the weight
Instead adding on to it their own problems
I need to rest
But who will take my place?

This will be my last poem about him
But just in case he reads it,
I have a few final things to say
1) *******. You hurt many people, not just those you dated
2) *******. You tried to get us all to cut out Karol
3) *******. You pinned all the problems you caused on Karol
4) I know that I’ve been talking about you a lot. I know that was a weird thing for me to do (you know what I’m talking about.) but it was to get my final thoughts of you out
5) *******. You cheated on me the first weekend we were together. I was told at my grandmother’s house. These were the texts “we didn't see anything. but we're 86-94% sure that J and L were ******* each other's **** last night. and we're 98% sure that they were making out last night.”
6) *******. Why did you cut me out after the breakup? I know why, but I why couldn’t we just go back to being friends? We had been friends for a short time before, and we only did date for a “not that long” (according to your new girl)
7) *******. You dump me, then go after my friend? Then you expect me to just be happy for you? How delusional were you?
8) *******. You broke up with me over Snapchat. Not even a phone call, or hell even a real text. I could’ve moved on earlier, easier, if you had the ***** to talk to me in person, rather than hide behind a screen.
9) *******
You texted me today. You said that I need to chill out, that you’re moving away. Like I didn’t know that you were leaving. I’ll be happy when you leave. August can’t come soon enough. Soon to be a life without you.
So yeah. ******* *******

Who knew that the key to drawing
Stems from the same key to poetry

I can no longer eat them
A bag of cookies
We ate them
The day of my first kiss

We were at school
Of all places for this story to start
In the college office
Whenever we were in there
Clara put on headphones to block us out
I now know that she did it
Because she couldn’t stand to watch
This, all of this, happen to me
But I digress

We sat in the college office
You, me, and Karol
You said you had to go
To clean your room
But we could come with
So we followed you home

I hadn’t been up there before
But it’s all burned in my brain
The door opened
Clothes thrown across the floor
Two beds, one for you the other for your brother
A shelf packed with stuff
A TV sitting on a stand
The dresser in the closet and another under a window

Karol and I sat on your bed as you cleaned the room
You brought up the cookies and apples
Set them on the dresser
You handed me two rings
Just too small for my fingers
I still have them, somewhere
They sit in a box alone
I wish I could put these memories with them

When the room was clean
Karol left to go sleep in the van
Leaving us alone
We moved the furniture
The beds rotated to a new wall
The dresser sat between them
The TV and shelf sat in an alcove
They fit so perfect you would think it was made for them
Then we laid on your bed
We put on American Dad on Hulu
The one where Stan had to put his kid’s best friend in the witness protection program
And we laid there for hours
Eating this bag of animal crackers that you brought up for us all to eat
You held me as my back fit in against your chest
I felt your cheek against mine
I turned to look at you
And we kissed like nothing else mattered
Then we sat there like nothing happened
But of course it had

I remember your tongue
Wrestling it’s way into my mouth
Our glasses clanking together as lip met lip
We shed them and we laid there together
eating the cookies
But now you’re gone
And I can’t eat them without thinking of you

Can anyone tell me
How to heal from a breakup faster
It’s been almost a month
I’ve tried ignoring it
I’ve tried talking about it
I’ve tried complaining
Fighting
Yelling
Nothing seems to work
Can anyone help?

I need a success story
Just one
One person who came out to their parents
Or their aunt and uncle
Grandparents
Whoever
I just want one
It’ll help me feel better
Help me tell my parents
Tell my sister
Tell my family
So, I just want one success
Please help me gain confidence
Courage to tell them