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Kaeru Jun 2014
PARODY OF "THE DUCK SONG"

A duck walked down where the Democrats go
And he said to the man runnin' the show:
"Hey! Got any guns?"
The man said: "No, we just sell this *******,
But it's dumb, and I'll bet, you'll buy all of it!
Can we count on your vote?"
The duck said: "No."

Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
'Til the very next day...

When the duck walked down where the Democrats go
And he said to the man runnin' the show:
"Hey! Got any guns?"
The man said: "No, like I said yesterday
We just sell you *******, okay?
Why not vote for our guy?"
The duck said: "Good bye."

Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
'Til the very next day...

When the duck walked down where the Democrats go
And he said to the man runnin' the show:
"Hey! Got any guns?"
The man said: "Look, this is gettin' old.
I mean, ******* is all we've ever sold.
Why not give us your vote?"
The duck said: "How about... no."

Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
'Til the very next day...

When the duck walked down where the Democrats go
And he said to the man runnin' the show:
"Hey! Got any guns?"
The man said: "That's it! If you don't stay the **** away,
you're a terrorist bound straight for Guantanamo Bay.
So give us your vote!"
The duck said: "Adios!"

Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
'Til the very next day...

When the duck walked down where the Democrats go
And he said to the man runnin' the show:
"Hey! Got your Free Speech?"
"What?" "Got your Free Speech?" "No, why would I - oh..."
"Then one more question for you:

"Got any guns?"

And the man just stopped,
The he started to twitch,
He started to cry,
then started to *****.
He said: "Come on, duck,
Let's go to DC.
Talk to Obama,
So you don't have to harass me."

So they went to DC,
And Obama said “Hey”.
Tried to shake the duck's hand,
And the duck said: "Hmm, no thanks.

“But you know what I think?
And this is real as it gets
I think DC...
I think DC...
I think DC
is full of *******."

Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle waddle
Then he waddled away - waddle waddle
Kaeru May 2014
Under the old covered bridge
my defenses fall
like the torrential rain that serenades us.
You pull me in close
your voice like sweet music in my ear
as you whisper you love me.

Under the old covered bridge
our lips connect
and our passion leaves me breathless.
Our hands are hungry
as we shed our garments like animal fur
and come together as one.

Under the old covered bridge
I inquire of you:
Have I a future with the preacher's son?
Your response is as vague
as your father's worthless Sunday sermons.
You offer me nothing.

Under the old covered bridge
I weep as you leave.
You swear an oath that you will call.
I know that you won't.
Your loyalty is with your church
and your archaic god.

Under the old covered bridge
I lie one last time.
I gave my heart and innocence here
and you trampled it.
As my eternal essence slips away,
I whisper your name.
Kaeru May 2014
A POETIC MONOLOGUE

Romeo, romeo
wherefore art thou Romeo
Why are you Romeo?
Why must I be attracted to Romeo?
Was it God that made me this way?
The Christians will scoff
and they will judge
and they will say
“It's a choice that you yourself make”

Is this what you believe?
That every struggle I go through,
every ignored prayer I've ever prayed,
every tear I cried,
was all happening by my own choice?
You would dare to sit there
and hold me in judgement
and tell me that none of my feelings are real?

And you tell me that I have a choice to make,
that I can choose life or choose death.
Choose who you will follow!
As for you and your house,
you will serve the LORD.
And I came to the conclusion
that's you're absolutely right.
I have a choice to make,
and here is what I have decided:

I choose life.
Life lived how I want to live it!
Not dictated by someone else's morals
handed down to them by some
ancient blood god.
No, this is life as I choose it!

A life of loving someone
until you feel like they are a part of you.
A life of selflessness
in that you would die just to save them,
A life of laughter,
of tears,
of fights,
of make ups
and tender moments.
Is that really all that different
from what you have?

I choose to break out of the mental *******
that you programmed into me
throughout my entire life.
I choose to believe that our Creator
would not give us the ability to love like that
and then punish us eternally for doing it.
I choose to break free of fear
of stigmas and prejudices and ideas
that make no logical sense.

So you asked me my choice,
and now you have it.
Ostracize me!
Label me!
Gossip about how perverted I am
among the other church hens!
Your ******* will no longer hold me back.
Your scare tactics and your unreasonable hatred
will only add fuel to the fire of the rage
that you yourselves have kindled.
Perhaps you could even say
that my anger is fueled by the hell fires
that will one day consume me.

There should be no shame in loving Romeo.
As Juliet said as she stood there,
her love far below,
“Deny thy father and refuse thy name, 
Or if thy wiltnot,be but sworn my love, 
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.”
Montegue and Capulet,
their love forbidden.
Their families against them.
And one said to the other
“Forsake those who oppose us to be with me.
Or if you will not forsake anyone,
then I will forsake those who discourage me.
To be with you.

That my Christian family will ostracize me
when they find out
does not bother me.
That many friends who are Christians
will suddenly have no time for me
does not bother me.
What bothers me is that you could be so cold
while claiming to have the love of God
that you would treat people this way.
Where's your compassion?
Where's your mercy?
God commanded you
to have those things too.
I guess picking cherries
doesn't just happen in orchards.

I wish I had a voice.
I wish I was someone that people listened to.
I would tell people to love without question
and NEVER
let anyone
tell you who you can love.
Stand up and be proud,
and proud of the ones who love you so much.
Grab life by the *****,
if you'll pardon the expression,
and stand up for what matters to you.
Show those who oppose you
that you love this person so much
that you would gladly forsake being a Montague
to be with them.
And that they would happily leave behind the Capulets
just for an opportunity to hold hands with you.

That I found someone
I would spend the rest of my life with
should be a happy moment for them.
That they'd turn it into such a moment of sadness
is heartbreaking beyond words to express.
Oh I'm not a member of your family anymore?
Oh I should lose your phone number?
Well played, Christian brothers and sisters.
Well played.
But I will not be discouraged.
I will not be swayed.
Must I forsake the Capulets to be with my love?
Fine.
So be it.

But let it be known now
that I will not be silent.
I will not cry off until
injustice has been broken
and humanity's darker side
falls into a dark grave
dug with it's own ignorance and hatred.
Until every person is free under the law
until every voice raised against us
finally falls silent.

Equal love, equal rights.
Peace, brothers and sisters.
#EqualLoveEqualRights
See the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tsGXhMVCjEw
Kaeru May 2014
PARODY OF "OCTOPUS'S GARDEN" BY RINGO STARR.

I'd like to be in the country
In a marijuana garden in the shade
They'd let us skid, and smoke a lid
In a marijuana garden in the shade

I'd ask my friends to come and smoke
A bowl of good until they all choke
I'd like to be in the country
In a marijuana garden in the shade

We would find digs, and ditch the pigs
In our little hideaway inside a van
Resting our head on a truck bed
In a marijuana garden on a ranch.

We would laugh at stupid ****.
We'd forget why and take a hit.
I'd like to be in the country
In a marijuana garden in the shade

We would smoke and talk about
The police that put us all away
(put your stoner *** away)
Oh I'm high! I'm high as the blue sky
Forgot to go to work today.
(Unemployed today)

We would be so toasted you and me
No one there to call the boys in blue
I'd like to be in the country
In a marijuana garden with you
In a marijuana garden with you
In a marijuana garden with you
Kaeru May 2014
My name's Forrest
said the man
to anyone he met.
Momma said
God rest her soul
you don't know what you'll get.

Life's a *****
it kicked me
directly in the nuts.
Jenny was great
most of the time
but man was she a ****.

Life's a flash
cause it passed
and boy did it pass fast.
Went to Nam
and lost my friend
and got shot in the ***.

Life is hell
Watched as my
momma gave up her life.
And my dad
hope that he
***** on an exhaust pipe.

Life's not fair.
They said that
I was just a dumb twit.
I laugh when
I see them now
I get paid when I ****.

Life is pain.
Get away!
I'm warning everyone!
Get the ****.
I don't trust you.
I only trust my gun.

******* all
said the man
and don't you dare sit here.
if you do
I swear to God
I'll shoot you like a deer.
A more jaded Forrest than the Tom Hanks version.
Kaeru May 2014
I like talking with grandma.
She doesn't know my name.
She calls me Franklin Roosevelt.
I love her just the same.

I like talking with grandma
Her eyes see things quite scary.
Her long dead mom,
her childhood dog,
and even magic fairies.

Most people think I'm crazy.
They do not stop to see
that I think grandma's funny
in her senility.
Parody of poem "Walking With Grandma".
Kaeru May 2014
My heart it beats
in time with yours.
I feel it strumming
like the music of
God's guitar.

Our souls entwined,
they are as one.
We are two garments
cut from a single
bolt of cloth.

To hold you tight
or to kiss you
would be like a brush
with heaven itself:
pure delight.

I long to be
apart no more.
To be in your arms
and feel your deep love
engulf me.

You are my all,
my love, my life.
To live without you
would devastate me.
I love you.
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