do not know
the color of my eyes
sunlit

tell me again
all those nice things
you said
at the bar
after i confessed
i was crazy about you

tell me again
as i hold you against the door
of my bedroom

and once you're through telling
me
i will jump on the bed
up and down
several times
like a child
like a monkey
like a lunatic

because for a night
people can be really happy
for one night
it happens
people will feel
the need to jump on a bed
repeatedly
and not care about
waking the
neighbors downstairs

because it's just one night
really, the only
and all that ever happened
before
was leading up to

this.

the nights with you
are long
red velvet
carpets
rolled out for majesty

friday nights no longer
have their after-glow
the buzzing silver light
guiding me to you
to the beers
to a place like home
warm, naked
entangled in your
bed

friday nights end
flat-lined, alone
the work shift over
at midnight
my muscles quake
my spirit rumbles for
something more
than this.
the streets
holler and i ignore and
sit in the cold
smoking a cigarette
with the smelly, crazy-eyed
bums
in the shelter
waiting for the bus
which will bring me
to the place i sleep

but i have no home

some days it gets so restless inside me,
i cannot breathe new air
i am vacuum sealed
there is only tossing and turning in tight space
you gnaw in me, demon man.

the sorrows of lost love always serve as the muse.
i want to
write about something good, something fresh
and beautiful
but some days it gets so restless i could pull my thick hair out
and drink myself sick and burn my skin and parade
the streets in fierce strides as a torn thing
what is this pain?
i imagined it as a kid and materialized it to reality.
why does it hurt so much, i asked, to fall in love?

this has been a deep slice
the answer bleeds warmer
you are getting there
closer
the knife pierces
the truth rushes  free
yes,
here it comes

the night air humming
and the warm wind
grazing my
skin
the streetlights buzz
like fireflies
whirling around me
the moon hangs
superbly
at the end of a downhill
boulevard-
orange, fired
giant
and aliened

the day never died
the moon robbed
the sun
and my love
waits for me
in silence
on a park bench
tonight

there are days the melodies
rise from opening
earth
and wrap themselves
around the branches
of trees
blossoming
wet lavender
petals
they drip down
note by note
fall into and
return
to the earth
again

looking down a city
street
you tumble
into the memories
of cradling sunsets
cradling arms and bodies
of past romances

those are the days i know
i couldn't help loving you

i loved you like the champion
the beggar
the defender
the gambler
the martyr
i loved you
with the sun-stricken craze
of a woman
who knew not
what else to do

but give it all
like she was meant to

standing in the
exit
that leads to my rooftop
door slightly ajar
there is a tornado
of wind and snow and
smoke from little
chimneys
twisting in the skies

one brave *******
of a bird
flies
through it

i am drinking chai tea
smoking a cigarette
wearing
fluffy tiger-printed
slippers
sirens wail
tires screech
off the highway
this early morning
and i am warm

this life is but a loan
what remains
is to care for it
as our own
until time calls back
its due date

you awake
in the early morning
around 7 a.m
every time
move closer
pull me in
wrap an arm around me
use the other
to caress the skin
of my neck
arms
upper back
and for the shortest
moment i can suspend
the reality of
what we are
over me
replace it
with a warm caramelized
dream

until your running fingers
take speed
downwards
and bring me back
to the
place and thing
i exist for you