I swear to Christ
I feel like I’m being ******* haunted
Looking over my shoulder
Afraid to be out in a crowd
Memories of places we’ve been
Jokes we shared
Can’t even go to bed at night
It might not of been real to you
But these apparitions are sure real to me
I let you in, against all warning
Here I am now, praying it is you I wake to
Here I am now, in the mourning
Haunted by what could of been
My hands are tied
And I’m ******* drowning

Do you ever wake in the middle of the night
and wonder if I was dreaming of you too?
And sigh in disbelief and disappointment,
that we are not laying together, as we used to?
Maybe this is the time when our souls tangle,
hold hands and embrace one another.
Somewhere out there, in space and time,
things that are certainly beyond me.
I know that not everything is what it seems,
maybe I'm crazy, maybe I still believe.
But, how could it ever be, my love,
that my nightmares begin only when I wake?
Knowing full well, in my dreams that -
I feel that I'm finally home, in the right place.

You’ll wait til there’s gravel in my lungs
Til my guts are too far gone
Til my mind is rotten
To say, I miss you too

By the time you realize
That all I wanted to do
Was be by your side
To experience it all
By the time you understand
Why, I fought tooth and claw
Sank my knees through the floor
Begging you to see, what a mistake

I will be gone.

Reminiscing on the little things I'd pick up in my travels
Little things to put a smile on your face
Memories, that put tears on mine
Such as bringing you wildflowers
Trying to keep them fresh in a soaked bandana
Water I certainly could of used on a 90 degree day
A way to say thank you and that you're beautiful too
I'll never claim to be perfect
Just know, that I'd never stop fighting for you
But I miss picking up pebbles on my hikes
Scouring for the perfect one, each time
Carrying them for miles in my pockets
All the way back to you
As a way for me to say I love you too
Maybe, I'll keep picking up pebbles
And one day, carry them all the way back to you

I’m just a bright eyed devil, to be realistic
Sharp tongued snake
Somewhat dull personality
Dry sense of humor, sarcastic
Know too much about nothing of necessity
Callous outlook on most things
Anxious over every God ****** thing
Optimist in the worst of ways
Hopeful that I’m worth her time, sometime
I’ve got nice hair, most days, that’s about it
Heart too big, too many shoes to fill
Add **** writer to the mix
To the running list of ******* I can’t fix
No one ever listens to what I say
Truth of it all, is I’m at the end of the rope
Just praying for my own downfall