Each day my heart grows more fond of the way you love me
I find myself constantly in awe of how phenomenal it is to be loved by altruism itself.
You have redefined beauty for me.
Because it is no longer just the perfection in your body.
It is not how perfect your hair always looks.
Not just how much I love your style and the way you dress.
The way your fragrance makes me weak at the knees.
No, Beautiful has turned into a word defined by complete.
Something that is all encompassing.
Beautiful has to do with your always loving heart.
Your complex and constantly working mind.
The voice that will forever change this world.
Beautiful has become something so much deeper than appearance.
It has become the hearts that will benefit from your presence
Beautiful is a reminder that we can always do things a little better.
I don’t think I can simply use the world beautiful the way I use to.
It has become a word specifically designed for you.

I would be lying if I told you death wasn't an option
We can choose it everyday
And most days i argue
On what the best course of action might be
Between Berlin walls and burlesque dreams
My heart has decided it's mind
Into suicide flower arrangements
Multiplying in hope that one of them might be better
Becoming a stem grown mistake
Leaf to sky
Praying to the god we call heaven
And the clouds we call hope
Make me pretty
Show the world my worth
Allow the tender fabric surrounding my inners to bring joy
Break my roots in a wish that maybe the ground can remind me from where i once came
That this earth returns us to form
Not the other way around
Eradicate the suffering so commonly accepted as the present

As death became reality
He attempted to convince himself
That if he hit delete enough
Enough people would pay attention
That his flair of calm temperament
Was a siren of helicopters
Berating sleeping neighbors
Wanting everything to be worth more than he believed

Poetey became a suicide note
Causing him to stop writing
With the fear of his words becoming eulogy
Bleeding paper with cut nerve endings
Fist indented desk topping
Proving a impending bad written letter
To people that may never read


Historians have probable cause
To explain what went wrong here
Until then
This man sits in glass bottles and retained thoughts
Smiling broken happiness
Through exhausted muscles
Knowing today won't be enough

A promise
I wish you didn't give
Take me away
To a place
Before your fallacies
Dripped across
The space between
Love and despise

The acrylic style that found a gap in my brave flavored fortune. Writing me off like a bad tattoo at 15. I found the ink left in your blood dripped house on the prairie. Discovered fossils of ancients. Left the air heavy around the place. Dusty shelves filled with eyes that have watched lives move around for years.

Discovery found in the cobwebs in the corner. All eyes on the show. The one on repeat in black an white. Playing static on hollow walls, Inner ears and plastic heart beats. Detected the frightened feelings inside the couch. The imbedded body parts left over time. Avoiding the obviously oblivious.

Cans line the walls of denial built on falsified rumors of comforted table cloths. Crock of **** that was. Crock pots are the best. Just let everything boil all day, then accept and devour. Heated heaven in a porcelain platter dished up by perfect palms pausing to elate you. Here have another one.

Avoidance techniques only hold their ground for so long. Winter will wander off and this ground you stand on will thaw. Those footprint will stick in the ground like the ink the typewriters would explode on papers untouched. Stuck. Leaving particles of life across the windowed season.

You know I'm gonna need a hand with these limbs.

Flowing rivers of everything we have hidden behind dams.

Life will continue up stream in spring.

Lets follow footprints and splashes that disappear in season.

I know things aren't easy to see without your spectacles,

So let me help you feel spectacular.

But this experience is nothing but a shade and shadow.

Find the form to work through the creases in its eyebrow.

Drop everything to analyze something flown past with preoccupied neurons.

Don't walk around the welcome mat when you're welcome here.

Come on in, enjoy the meal of real and irrefutable.

It's tastes good if you stop chewing on your tongue.

Share oxygen with the operating punching bags in my chest.

They operate under the condition that they listen to me.

Sometimes I forget to broadcast my hearts intentional reasons for beating.

I guess that's beside the point.

Just come with me. Let me spell it out in the clouds.

Nature has always given the disclosure you've needed.

Screaming silence and belated adulation at the peak of tomorrow.

Two breathes away from your next breathe.

Relax, see now for how it is.

A release of yesterday's promises.

I reached for my phone today
Wanting to tell you everything about nothing
Emptily expressing the deepest details of the ghost between us
Gift me your crescent ear one moment longer
A last call of slurred desperate expression
Forgive me
Drag me out of the bottle
Beat the intoxicants of father from my blood
Show me strength in separating the curves of blurred lines
Spread the gospel of the broken glass ripping at my thoat
Hoping to manufacture and disassemble yesterday
Drowning never felt so everyday
2,920 days of stories fractured under tongue and cheek
Placate my disgusting necessity for reassurance
Crash the ******* plane already
Zero gravity won't lift the weight boy
The blackbox may hear your desperate pleas
There will be no response
8 years of practicing crash landings
I reached for my phone today
How does nothing feel like everything

It was abruptly apparent to myself
Slapstick honest in the chest
Reality became emperical
When pull yourself up by your boot straps
Became an invitation to self destruction
A boot lace golden ticket
To a counterfeit perception of relief

All I ask is when I die
that these pages be left
over my grave
giving power to the wind
hoping it whispers my love
I never had a chance
to tell you about

I'm drunk.

Off your presence.

Intoxication never felt so good.