A society built on our problems always being the most problematic
Endlessly creating different ways to selfishly live for ourselves
Slowly falling into a swirling abyss of regret

The broken hieroglyphic notions that I wrote on paper have brought me here
Begging
To empty this empty shell of a carcass of all the emotions I am convinced I feel fully
You will not be the one to tell me otherwise

Elation
Will forever been a childhood dream
Manifested in Christmas songs, long nails and ignoring the too many times you told me you loved me
That ended after 22 short years
That was five years ago
I am still on a search party

Doubt
Is left in the hands of god and tomorrow

Wonder
I still wonder why
Forever we will not seen eye to eye
Because the wonder I experience
Will always be a glass half full

Depression
There was never a question in your ability to consume
You have adapted to the cells of existance
Breathing on my smile
Wondering how I could still be happy

Longing
.............................

Perserverance
With your absence
I still show up
For some days I wake wishing the latter
For you
Never gave up

Family
Has become lily pads in a dried lake bed
Failing to fulfil its purpose
Needing guidance
Depserately
Wishing that you
Would come back home

I have built you

With every word that has dripped dry off my cracked lips
You have come to
In the fabrics of my exhaled breathes
Becoming condensation on my snow globe dreams
Begging to seep into the soil of these neurotic tissues

My mind has grown monuments of you
Built with products of the moments
Glorified bombshells
Floating to our Earthbound desires

I have built you
Into this moment
Presently

This building we have created
We call home
I find myself here
Cracked skin
Broken shoulders
Exhausted self
Happy
To be